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social life
so i just started high school and it has been so horrible. i know everyone has always said freshmen year is always bad. but i know that me being a freshmen isn't the problem. it's the school that i hate so much. the teachers don't know how to teach at all and they put me through so much more pressure that i should be put in. i already have to go through so much and school doesn't help. i have to deal with actually trying to have friends instead of crying most of the time of my loneliness. i have to put up with a 7 people family in only a 2 bedroom apt. and i have to put up with all the fighting. school is becoming a problem for me, getting low grades and all. i have a job but since im only 15 they said the least they can do is schedule me on the weekends and that gives me a 20$ check all the damn time for four hours that i work. i hate every bit of these things that im going through. so the real question is, i want to drop out of high school. I'll study all the time if i do, and I'd take the GED if i have to. I'll do everything I can to not be in school. i hate it so much there. its pulling me back from everything and my happiness. and moving to another school would be the same. I'd have to start all over. I'd need to worry to not get into my emotions about friends. I'd have to put up with god knows how the teachers are. its all just so hard. and i feel that i have no support whatsoever right now when i need it the most.
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Hey friend, high school can really suck, there's no doubt about it. I would love to drop out myself, but I don't because I want to go to college. Everyone usually wants to drop out, but some have to stick it out. You should maybe talk to your parent(s) about it, to see what your exact options are, but you could do homeschool or online classes if you want to, and can. I know things get really difficult, but it gets better. You could get help with your grades and stuff, and friends come along eventually, but if you really can't handle it, (like when it effects your health and life) then consider your options, and talk to people about it. You at least have my support in whatever you choose. Hope this helped~
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Let's see if I am getting the issue here by rewording a little.
1. You hate the particular school you are in for the reason that you don't like the teaching style and how hard the assignments and expectations are.
2. You are not having success making friends.
3. Your family is 7 people in a small space leaving no breathing room or place to have solitude or your own bubble/private time
This sounds like 3 different issues in your life.
I think the best thing I have to share with you is that life is hardly ever fair and the sooner we understand that and stop comparing or getting depressed when our expectations of how it should be, are dashed, then we will naturally find ways to cope that we didn't notice before.
I know this doesn't solve your problem but I don't see how your idea of dropping out and going for a GED is going to help, you will still have to study. Unless you are great at getting things accomplished without supervision and have strong study habits, going for a GED is not going to be much easier. On this path, you will have even less opportunity to meet people and make friends. Let's say by 16, you have your GED, then what? You going to go to college or start working a full time job if you can get it? You may have to work two part time jobs to get anywhere money wise. And dropping out will not change your living situation with the family.
Here's something about school and how they teach from my own experience and that of my daughters. People have different learning styles but schools only use one so that leaves out the other kids. It was that way when I was a kid in school thru HS and the same for my daughters. In fact, we had to pull one daughter out to put in private school 2 years to catch up. I chose another school to move my kids to when for the 3rd time in one year, the old school had another lice epidemic, the previous year was the same and all my kids got it. I didn't have boys whose head I could just shave so it got depressing and that prompted a switch to another grade school with middle school attached as one unit. As parents, we were warned that this smaller middle school had a policy to work the kids harder, to the point of failure, as a way to prep them for HS. Every year without fail, student s from my kids middle school did better than all others when entering freshman yr.
I still remember my kids wanting to give up when they had C's and D's and uncompleted assignments but at teacher meetings, the teachers sat as a team of four who handled the major subjects at school for my kids, and told me they were not concerned about low grades because all the kids suffered with the same. They had to try harder to complete what seemed like too large assignments with too short a time to complete. As predicted, they were better prepared for HS and did great there. HS isn't too late to teach a kid to have to work hard, against adversities to seem to get anywhere because it will prepare you for college.
Yes, your school may have some problems that could be improved, but the challenges are not necessarily a bad thing, depends on how you look at it, as something that will block you from success or as a rung on the ladder to success that helps make you tougher to fight the challenges and climb that ladder instead of giving up and crying or running away from it totally to begin with.
You were too general with some statements like "its pulling me back from everything" What do you mean by pulling you back? And when you use the word 'everything' what all is it that comprises the 'everything'? I could guess is that the everything is ideas in your mind of what you what and how it should happen. I am not saying not to dream big but more often in life the battle people face (adults and teens alike) in their life, are more often fought in the head rather than in real life experiences. We lose out in some way because we fear something, hate something, it's too hard so we give up too easy, our negative thoughts curb our ability to see our way out of the dark tunnel. Our thoughts can cloud out some solutions or better ways to make life work better for us. You did start with a thought based on what others said and that is often what gets most of us in trouble anyways, by accepting what we hear others say and 'owning' it too, which means accepting and expecting it to apply to you too. Such as, everyone has always said freshmen year is always bad. Yeah, and I've heard "Oh everyone hates that teacher, Sorry you got them cus I heard they're mean and give lots of homework" And I found out in class that nothing I heard was true about the teacher and I actually liked them alot. You did say you know being a freshman isn't the problem. but your subconscious mind didn't get that message from your conscious mind.
A bit to explain why I am going into talking about your subconscious mind, it is where your emotions come from, so your dislike or hatred of school, fears of lonliness, etc...all emotions that come from the subc. mind. What you hear as accept as for real, like freshman year being bad, is noted by the subc. mind. One of it's many job's is to protect you, keep your best welfare in mind and so that which you focus on, it notices must be of importance to you. So the subc. minds works with you to regarding what you focus on or accepted as inevitable, some truth you can't escape, to attempt to make it come true for you. After-all you focus on it enough so it must be important to making you happy, right? Thats how our subc. minds work!!
Like two individuals working against each other. Your subc. mind may be your inner child. At least, in me, I have seen that. Trying reasoning with the child within, even in my 50's takes lots of patience with myself and reassuring of the fears in my inner child, the tantrums. the longing for something and not being patient to wait, impulsiveness. So in reality, your biggest battle in life will be with your subconsious self. A few people are on good terms with their sub self, I am but still I have times I really need to work to cooperate with that part of me becuase its so different in many ways from that part of me that is my logical, adult, conscious/awake self. So your subconscious may not have the best answers for you. Quitting and dropping out/going for GED is an option but may not be the best. You need to gather more info from other sources too. Your worry and concern of what a new school may be like and 'predicting' the problems or outcome is not possible by most humans. Only a few psychics can see the future. I doubt you can any more than I can. You don't know 100% for sure that it will be exactly like that or not, so worry or giving up ahead of knowing the real outcome, is wasted energy and only makes you more miserable.
Negative thinking is easier than positive thinking and believe it or not, All people battle it pretty much as a constant in their lives. We may learn to catch a negative thought and choose to not accept it and give ourselves a positive thought to replace it...but I don't know of many who have learned to stop a negative thought from beginning. So you, like me and others, need to learn to not get plowed over by a ton of negative thoughts that end up making us depressed.
You need to find a way you can have your own spot to go to when you can have time away from household members in a way that is refreshing and regenerates you, so being in school or at job isn't, it takes the kind of focus that doesnt leave your mind free to relax and unwind and find time to become creative. Given enough time and not giving in to fear or despair, we can see solutions we never saw before. I can only make suggestions but I don't live your life so I can't say how practical...you will come up with better. If there is a park nearby go there for time alone to think. Even better, offer dog walking for a little extra cash, take the dog to the park or around the block and you're safer because you have a dog with you, and you have time to think, maybe listen to music that is calming to you, time away from the family. Getting into a book for entertainment works for me as a private bubble my mind gets into even when I may be in a room full of people but I no longer see them and half the time don't hear them. Its a good mental escape for house members when there is lack of room. Those are a couple ideas to start. You complain of no support. I wonder if there are people who are ready to encourage you, ready to take time with you alone, whether counselors at school, a parent, even a favorite sibling you can trust to bare your heart to, a church youth pastor, friends? If not having a single friend, somethings wrong because even I as an extremely shy person had at least 4 or 5 friends each year in school. And they were real, quality friends and there for me, and me for them. Perhaps you need some encouragement on how to make friends or perhaps you have been trying to make friends with the wrong people. I would like to go into this more with you and as of now I've already written so much. If you'd like to clarify your situations, one at a time, send the first on one of the issues, friends, school or living situation and go more into detail on what the issues really are with examples and I'd be glad to help. You can write to the whole group, or just to me on my column if you wish. I wish you the best dear.
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