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I don't know how to let go
Hey there everyone.
F/17
About two weeks ago I dumped my boyfriend. Truth was, I was paying for everything and never got much in return. When we went out or had lunch, I had to pay for both of us because he would always look the other way. I was too uncomfortable to ask for money from him so I just shut up about it. But it started getting me in trouble with my mom, because I was spending twice what I usually spent a week so she was noticing. I kept giving her lame excuses, but it started to bother me. Every time he gave me some excuse that he hadn't gotten paid. We were together for almost four months, and he never once took me a on a proper date. So I was stupid to let it go on for so long. I decided to finally end it because of all of this, and then two days passed and he suddenly had a girlfriend and he uploaded a picture of them kissing. Firstly, I deleted and blocked him out of every where but my friends still had him and they saw it. They took a screenshot and showed me. I was so angry. I felt used, lied to, cheated on. Because surely someone can't "move on" that quickly right? I started thinking back to all those times he would have to go away and talk to his "guardians" in secrecy. I feel pretty stupid about it. But worse of all, I made a "Kik" account a few days ago and agreed to let the app find friends in my contacts. The girl he's with showed up. So he probably used her phone to call me sometimes saying it was his guardian's phone. I'm so upset about this. I don't like him at all anymore, but this has hurt me more than words can explain. I've never gotten cheated on, and everything seemed to have been right in front of my eyes. Every night I cry before going to sleep, because it just infuriates me so much. A friend suggested I write a letter with my feelings and leave it at his house to get it out but I'm not sure that's a good idea. Any advice on how to let go? My family and friends are starting to tell me I need to get over it already. I just don't know how.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I know you feel stupid for what he did to you and it's fine, he made you what you're feeling right now. I think I know that you really know how to let go of him, especially when you're now feeling hurt more than love. You just have to think if you really do love him or do you just love the attention that he gave you? You don't need a new man to move on, for now, all you neeed is to find yourself. You don't also need a man just to show him you've moved on and that he doesn't matter to you anymore, improve yourself better and he'll see what he lost. But while you're finding yourself, you may also find someone along the way, and be open to him. Don't be scared to fall in love again just because something bad happened in the past. Just get over it and stop crying. But this should also be a lesson learned, don't give your all to someone until you're sure that he's giving his all to you. Don't worry, you just need time for now, time and realization. You'll be okay. :)
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Ok - I misunderstood. Or maybe I was answering in a round-about way.
Perhaps the way to let go is just to see him for what he is. He's just one of those guys. Attractive people. Yes, he lied to you. Yes, he cheated on you. You know what? He will possibly never get what's coming to him, he will possibly lead a charmed life and die old and happy. **Life is unfair**.
All you can do is thank the lord (or your stars) that you had a brush with one of these people now while you are young rather than when you are older with a home and a career to lose.
Don't ever forget how much you liked this guy, how it *felt* to like him so much, and just what kind of user he turned out to be. Because one of the great lies in our society is how those tingly love feelings are just the most important things in the whole world, and how you should just always "follow your heart". It's bad advice. Your heart is an idiot who will get you into serious trouble.
There's no point being mad at this particular guy when the world is so full of guys exactly like him.
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Well first off im so sorry that happened to you. its awful. secondly your family shouldnt be telling you how to feel at anytime about something. you are your own person and you have your own set of feelings to go by and no one needs to show you how to feel.
I would call the other girl and tell her hes been cheating on you with me and on me with you, and tell her you just wanted to let her know because you thought it would be the right thing to do. Stay totally calm while you do it youll come off as more mature that way. Lastly you will get over all this in your own time and in your own manner, they are probably just sad for you and dont want to admit it or or tired of hearing about him if your talking about it alot. This probably means that you should confide in someone else instead of them because it sounds like they just dont understand what your going thru right now or cant relate.
good luck ; )
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