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Worried about boyfriend. Please help
Please help!!! Worried about my boyfriend.
Well I ve been with this guy for like 8 months. It s a long distance relationship. He lives in a different state. . well he treated me like shxt and he says he does it because he's stressed out. And I was gon leave him a acouple of days ago and he said he was gon kill himself. Well earlier yesterday , he said he was in danger and that he needs me and to stay with him. He said something about people putting him in a gas chamber and that he gets gassed and he's going to die. Idk if that's another excuse of him trying to keep me in the relationship. I tried to call his phone but it went straight to voice mail. I haven't talked to him in a day. hes been stressed out. I can't stop crying im worried
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If you have his cell phone number as well as internet contact, those things can be traced by professional who can help. If you know what state he lives in, look up on line the crisis center number for his state and ask them what can be done, that you only know him from long distance and have his internet address and a cell number. They will let you know if there is something they can do for him.
Since it is an LDR, what happens on line is mostly imagined, pretend, there is no way to validate whether anything is real if not there in person, so even the most innocent thing such as where one works or attends school can be made up to impress. He sounds like he is talking nonsense, by talking of gas chambers and being gassed. At the same time he talks about killing himsself to keep you with him. You don't threaten things to keep someone with you. You are with someone if you genuinely respect and love the person. If he doesnt treat you that way, thats a good reason to leave the relationship. What he is possibly doing is playing a mental game with you, to make you feel guilty so you stay online with him out of guilt and fear, fearing guilt if he were to actually commit suicide. Of those who threaten suicide because of relationship issues, a good many never do, it's their last chance to clutch onto something they don't want to let go of. I've had someone threaten me of the same and he's still alive today. It was an in person relationship so it was easy to see it was a ploy to keep me there with him. When I tried talking about his threat and why he'd say it, I learned he didn't mean it, he confessed just saying that to keep me with him. Of course, there is a chance that he has a mental illness with the way that he is talking, and needs professional help. He may be a fine normal person once on meds and under a Drs. counseling but there's no way to know if he's on it or not. I used to care give for mentally ill people, like house cleaning and help grocery shop. I got to see first hand how much of their threats were more of a tantrum than seriously following through on it. I saw more frustration with themselves personally for not being able to easily handle daily things that the rest of us handle without any problems. It's the frustration of not being as normal as someone else and a fear of losing out on some things in life that I saw in the people I did caregiving for. I had to take them to and attend their counseling meetings and the counselor often spoke to me separately to get my feedback on what was going on or telling me how to work with them and the issue they were having while I was with them. So I do have some handle on this. This guy needs help and you may not be able to help him get in touch with professional help. All you can do is pray is police or crisis centers aren't able to.
I had to call para medics only once when one client had worked themselves into a frenzy breaking things in their home in anger and chanting how they wanted to kill themselves. Just seeing the medic's had her snapping back out of it and saying she didn't mean it and she was okay now and they didn't end up having to take her to hosp. after staying and observing her for a while.Do the best you can and then leave it in God's hands.
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If he has threatened to kill himself, I suggest you call the police and tell them what is happening. They can give him the help he needs;i.e. medications, counselors, etc. It's not your responsibility to stay with him and risk your own health & well-being which is what you're doing right now. You have a good heart but you need to take care of yourself too. Hope I helped.
xoxo,
dottie4
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Honestly, he sounds delusional. Who is going to put anyone in a gas chamber? is he in jail and about to be put to death?? probably not, so if hes saying things like this that would be a big red flag to get out.
secondly no one should be treating you badly and then when you threaten to leave saying stay or ill kill myself.
He needs the sort of help you cant give him sweetie. The best thing you can do is try to talk to his family or someone that you know cares for him and try to get them to get him the help he needs.
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