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My girlfriend is still friends with her deadbeat ex?
I've been with a girl for about 6 months and she has a daughter that's almost 2. She works a lot of overtime of provide for her (she's very low income), and has pointed out that the baby daddy never wanted her and didn't do anything to help support her when they were together. She left the baby daddy shortly after her daughter was born when she lived in his state and moved back here. He has not visited his daughter since or paid barely any child support. According to her, he has never even had a job, but has an associates degree. She says she is trying to sue him for child support. Is it wrong that she still is friends with him on Facebook then? She even responds and laughs at some posts he puts up to be funny. He asks how they are doing once a week through there but doesn't make any efforts to do anything else. He doesn't call or visit. She told me he wouldn't sign over his parental rights since he wants to leave it open to come back into their life since "part of him still loves" my girlfriend. I'm having a hard time accepting how she wants to have any relationship with him, despite him not visiting or providing support. Is she just going easy on him or is this a bigger red flag? Do I have to accept how friendly they are, even though he's not there for them?
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He is the father of her child. That means he'll always be around, and her life will be happier and easier if she can maintain a friendship with him - regardless of how badly he behaves.
She CAN'T cut him out of her life. That is not an option. That would be utterly unfair to her child. He still has rights, even if he doesn't pay child support of visit. If you expect her to do that, then you aren't equipped to date someone who is a parent.
This is not a read flag. What you describe might actually be a really strong sign that she is a mature and intelligent young lady who is able to put her child first.
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Well, you put yourself into a tough situation by dating a girl with a kid to begin with. That situation, the father. He will ALWAYS be part of that kid's life, and you're either going to have to accept it, or find a new girlfriend.
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Not a red flag. She has years of history with this guy and a daughter by him. She is trying to maintain cordial relations with him and hopes he gets his shit together and pays attention to his kid. There's no love there but people together that long can have some kind of civil interaction and contact.
That's all. Nothing to get jealous about or concerned over. However, if she is to successfully sue him for child support she needs to cut out the Facebook, trying to maintain a relationship online or off or a lawyer can easily point to a judge or his lawyer that she's pushing for a relationship of some kind and trying to sue him at the same time.
Could she go harder on him and ask him to clean p his life, get a job, pay for his kid's needs and be an active parent hell yes. She should but it's up to him for the follow trough. She could cut him off all together but that may do nothing and may getting money from him a lot more difficult. Either she sues him and has no more to do with him or she doesn't. It has to be her choice but you can suggest all this and tell her exactly how you feel and if you considered leaving over it.
She may lose a legal fight and money for her kid that way. If she isn't suing him either now or in the future than she can maintain a civil interaction with him. You don't have nor need to like this but it's her choice.
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Wow, well first off, she's probably attached to him, as he did father her child. That's a big part of her life, obviously. Second, maybe she wants to keep in contact and be friendly with him so maybe he'd come visit his daughter. My mother still remembers good things about my father, (whom she divorced 12 years ago, and who was very abusive and mean) she's been remarried now for 10 years. She doesn't want to be with my father, it's just she wants to remember the few good times they had together. If that makes any sense. As I've never had a baby, or a baby daddy I can't give much input on this. If she starts distancing herself from you and acting strange, then you should be worried. She's doing this stuff out in the open, "facebook" If she starts hiding things from you, or you're catching her in lies, you'd better watch out. :)
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