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Grandpa Dying
My Grandpa and I have never had a relationship. I don't dislike him or anything but we've just never bonded or had anything to talk about. Recently I found out he has stage 4 lung cancer. My mother has been guilt tripping me about how I haven't called him (he lives in Georgia and I am in California). I do not want to make him feel weird or awkward or anything because we have never spoke on the phone. We haven't spoke in years actually. Am I wrong for not calling? I feel it is a bit of a selfish act but at the same time don't want him to realize I am calling just because he is dying. This sounds so awful. Words of advice please.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Sharing last moments with someone need not be uncomfortable or awkward. There are a few things you can ask yourself:
1) How would you want this moment to be if it were you instead of your grandpa?
2) Would you be comfortable with your decision years from now?
3) What motivates your reasoning for wanting to call or not call? And is it rationally sound?
4) What memory do you want to have of this event or situation?
Basically it all boils down to what you desire, what you are comfortable with, and what you choose.
Whatever decision you make, it should be one that you can be comfortable with for a long time, one that you can comfortably stand behind.
Be well.
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Hi, I'm MadameFrappe.
Look, you just need to call him. don't bring up the fact that hes dying though. just talk to him. i know it may be too late to get to know him but maybe if you two just talk and stuff....
I hope your grandpa is okay. :)
Prayers for you and your family.
Love, MadameFrappe
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I would never advise you to call someone just because someone else is guilt tripping you into it. You are an adult now and you know what feels right and what feels wrong.
Calling your grandfather who is aware of his medical condition gives you an opportunity to say good bye to him and let him know you are thinking of him. It is not weird or awkward for someone in his condition to receive calls from people he has not spoken to in years and may even lift his spirits to hear from his long lost granddaughter. This phone call from you also gives him the opportunity to say goodbye to you.
IF there was bad blood between you then my advice would be different. You would have every right not to call. Since it is just a matter of you two never bonding the phone call is your choice to make without reservation or guilt trip.
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