Member Since: October 24, 2014
Answers: 3
Last Update: October 25, 2014
Visitors: 434
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I went to college, finished two semesters, took a semester off. I have been at home this entire time. I have started looking at colleges again. I didn't think I would go back. And lately, college just seems like a task to get away from home. I'm too interested in a number of things like music, art, video games, and writing. I'm not exactly sure what direction to steer my life in. Any advice? (link)
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You are closer to knowing what you want than you think from your statement (I'm too interested in a number of things like music, art, video games, and writing...). It seems as if what you are searching for is how you want to incorporate those things into your life's purpose.
Confusion and misdirection generally come from not knowing our life's purpose. At a time when I didn't know my life's purpose or meaning, I wandered from field to field. I switched all the time. I was seeking a feeling that I was in the right place and doing what I felt I was meant to do. I am wondering if this is your situation.
First off, there are many things you can do right now today. You can take a few different occupational tests, you can seek out a career coach, you can talk to your school advisor, and/or you can attend some schools on either a liberal arts degree path or customized path (research the schools that do this- there are some). You can also visit the government site BLS.gov to find out more about positions you have interest in, the route to securing them, job summaries, and work environment so that you may see if it suits you http://www.bls.gov/ooh/.
Ultimately, my advice is for you to do some inner work. Nothing really difficult, as a matter of fact it seems you've already somewhat started. 1) Sit and consider what you've been drawn to all of your life, what experiences you've had that have given you the most joy 2) Reflect on the happiest moments you've had and what you were doing when you had them 3) What are you curious about? 4) What is your natural gift? 5) What do you want your legacy to be? 6) What type of character or personality do you have - are you a free spirit, structured, etc..
Once you've answered those questions, write them down. Keep a journal also, randomly listing during the day what you enjoy. When you've gotten enough answers compiled, find out what the commonality is among them all. This will point you towards your life's meaning.
From there you will have many avenues to express it, but knowing what you enjoy and do not enjoy will help you to narrow it down substantially?
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So I'm in a lesbian relationship. Me and my girlfriend have been talking about having children. She wants me to carry the child but wants it to be her egg which is totally acceptable. However, I really really hate the name she wants if its a boy. The name is Ta'Ziyah and I HATE it! But she said she had that name picked out since she was a teen. And she won't give it up. I've had the name Christopher picked out since I was 8 but she doesn't like that. So now I feel like I don't want to have a child with her and I have no say in the name because it won't be my egg. What can I do to make her change her mind and change that hideous name? (link)
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When you agree to have a child with someone, you are agreeing to unite in common goals, to uphold what benefits the child. Many times that will mean relinquishing what you had planned to do in exactly how you planned to do it. Please don't confuse this with sacrificing what is essential for you. Ask yourself is the name or the child important? Are you willing to give up the opportunity to have a child? What is your expectation of being a parent? DO you see parenthood as always going your way, and if so, why or why not?
It would be beneficial for you both to sit down and really have a discussion about what your parenting style will be and how you plan to come together as parents. Because it sounds like you both need to go into this venture with union. If you cannot compromise over the task of naming a child and you are thinking about not going through the experience itself, what will happen when there are bigger discussions to have after the child is born and you both don't agree? Will you give up the parenting experience? If so, that will affect the child.
Seek out your own answers to the best of your ability and really have a truthful discussion about all of your feeling with each other. Parenting is a life long task.
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My Grandpa and I have never had a relationship. I don't dislike him or anything but we've just never bonded or had anything to talk about. Recently I found out he has stage 4 lung cancer. My mother has been guilt tripping me about how I haven't called him (he lives in Georgia and I am in California). I do not want to make him feel weird or awkward or anything because we have never spoke on the phone. We haven't spoke in years actually. Am I wrong for not calling? I feel it is a bit of a selfish act but at the same time don't want him to realize I am calling just because he is dying. This sounds so awful. Words of advice please. (link)
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Sharing last moments with someone need not be uncomfortable or awkward. There are a few things you can ask yourself:
1) How would you want this moment to be if it were you instead of your grandpa?
2) Would you be comfortable with your decision years from now?
3) What motivates your reasoning for wanting to call or not call? And is it rationally sound?
4) What memory do you want to have of this event or situation?
Basically it all boils down to what you desire, what you are comfortable with, and what you choose.
Whatever decision you make, it should be one that you can be comfortable with for a long time, one that you can comfortably stand behind.
Be well.
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