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online dating
What is your opinion with online dating ? Do you think you can start talking to someone online and just feel inside you that this is it. You have so many of the same interest feelings and views especially with family and parenting life. You have been threw a lot of the same things and know those are things you don't want to go threw again.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I have done it before. You get to know a person before judging their looks. You get to see their true beauty.
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Hi, I'm MadameFrappe, and I'm gonna be honest with you. i think online dating can be a good or bad thing. 50/50... for three reasons.
1.) You could possibly find the love of your life, or some 58 year old hobo. (YIKES!)
2.) You might also meet someone who will love to be apart of your kids lives as well as yours, or he/she may hate kids. *Remember that anyone who doesn't want to be apart of your kids lives apart from yours is probably not the person you want to be with.
and 3.) Once you meet someone who you think may be the one, don't give your hopes up. Just because it seems like you have everything in common doesn't mean you actually do. there are some liars out there who will do and say just about anything to get to you. Or, maybe you do really have lots in common. This is a decision your gonna have to make for yourself. :)
Hope this helps.
Love, MadameFrappe. Ask me anything else you might need!
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LDRs
Yes, It's easy to find people on line who from what they say, seem to have things in common with you or meet your criteria for a guy.
BUT (and it's a big but), you are making these assumptions based on what they say. Not everyone tells the truth. And that brings us to problem number 1.
On line, it is even easier than when meeting someone in person to be false just to catch the other persons interest. We can call this being on our best behavior and trying to impress. What really happens is people pretending to be someone they are not. It takes a lot of personal energy to keep up the facade, the mask, and being on the other end of the internet, it's not likely at all for you to see signs of the real person if the mask slips (if there is one to begin with) In person, it is much easier to spot clues by their behavior and inconsistencies.
Let's say that you have found a great guy on line, haven't met yet, but he's for real, (although there's no way to know it) the one thing you can work on, long distance is conversation. But there is one thing you can't work on in an LDR, it's trust. And that brings us to problem number 2.
Trust is important in a relationship. Until a relationship is moved from LDR to face to face, not one visit but consistent, living near, same town so you see each other often enough to begin to grow trust, it's not going to happen. Trust takes a long time to develop. As trust develops it becomes easier to share your deepest secrets, fears, whatever your thoughts or opinions are without fear of ridicule, etc. Without trust, a relationship will be rocky at best.
Being that in an LDR, you can only pick up on some things, not all, all the rest will be fantasies made up by our minds because we hate not having all the knowledge up front. So we get into what I call 'Theater of the Mind'. And one of the things we fantasize about is having great chemistry together among other things. That brings us to problem number 3.
Pheromone's is a face to face thing. You can't pick up whether you have chemistry until face to face. Many times you will find a person perfect in all ways for you, I've been there . . . except that once meeting in person, you find there is no attraction to them despite how gorgeous they look. If the pheromone's between two people are not attracted to each other but rather repelled by each other, then the end result will feel like a sibling attempting to kiss you romantically, it just doesn't work. And yet, sadly, many people still get into relationships, even marriages with someone like that because they are perfect in all other areas. And what they end up with is living with their best friend (an important component) but lacking the romance, sexual attraction part which is the other important part of a long term or life time relationship. People end up settling for less, and unhappy and seeking at some point to get their romance and sex elsewhere or divorcing.
So if you are both adults, then I would suggest asking the guy to plan one short time, long enough to tell if there's chemistry with you. And if so, then move to your area, don't move to him. If a man is seriously looking for a mate and ready to commit to the one he believes is the right one and he hasn't found anyone in his area, he will move to be near you to give the relationship a chance. If you make a move to the guy, you'll never know how serious or ready he really is to commit. Too many woman write in, disappointed after their move to find it all falling apart and they are away from their support--family and friends.
If you are not yet an adult, I would suggest that you keep this person as an internet friend for now and not pin your hopes on anything coming of it and put the majority of your energy into dating in real life, learning what dating is all about, what you like and don't like about guys, knowing what trust feels like and what this mysterious chemistry thing feels like. Chemistry is not so elusive, you'll have chemistry with many over time, and then the object is to find your best friend as well.
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