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I Just Want This Guy to LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
I'll try to make this quick. Back in August, I started seeing a guy called RW. I thought he was great at first, but then he turned out to be not so nice. At least that's how I feel. I feel like there's a lot I'd like you to know about RW, but all you really need to know is that I wasn't very happy most of the time I was seeing him. I felt a lot better when I started thinking about breaking it off in September.
Long story short, in September, two guys from my past came back into my life. Their names are Robert and Jude and I've had crushes on them both (Robert in 2010 and 2011 and Jude in 2011). I started seeing them both a little over three weeks ago and simultaneously broke it off with RW.
They both have so many qualities that I just adore. They're both extremely handsome, sweet, good hearted guys that make me feel so good and happy when I'm with them. Jude is so charming I could cry and Robert is so funny and so sweet I can't stand it. They both have a lot of the same qualities I thought RW did, but theirs kindness, sweetness, charm, good looks, and senses of humor are much more my style.
I know it's kind of skeezy to see two guys at the same time, but I was trying to decide between them and now, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be Robert. Now we get to my problem. RW will not go away. I was hoping that the break up would be the end of things, but he keeps showing up everywhere. He showed up at an art walk we went to, a he showed up Saturday when I went to a movie with Robert, he showed up yesterday uninvited to a friend's birthday celebration. He Won't go away. He's not letting go of our relationship.
RW has problems that I didn't know the severity of back in August. He has some kind of mental disorder and a bad drinking issue. He's not above using violence (or at least he doesn't seem to be) and I'm a little worried about what he's capable of. I don't think he'd physically hurt Robert or Jude, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd hurt someone. He can do nothing to me because I've got tons of men in my family and group of friends who'd kick his @$$.
What should I do? I need this guy out of my life and away from me Robert and Jude.
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Stalking is illegal, and police involvement is recommended.
They may either talk to him, watch him, pick him up, or even suggest a restraining order.
And if you're afraid of violence, especially, call your local police department for advice.
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This is all still recent, it'll take a bit of time for RW to get over the role he had as a boyfriend. If this is all intentional, and it sounds like it is to me, then what he wants is attention from you. I wouldn't give it to him. Once he's learned that he can't get anything from you, he'll likely move on. If he doesn't, depending on how old you are, you'll either want to get your parents or police involved. The police probably won't do anything from lack of evidence towards any foul play, but it might be enough to scare him off.
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Well, RW is a human being who allowed to be places like public art walks and movie theatres. Unfortunately, you cannot make him stop existing.
If you are concerned that he is actively following you - or if he has expressed to you that he intends to stalk you or has threatened other people you date - then you should discuss that with the police - on a non-emergency phone line - and ask them what the appropriate thing to do is if RW shows up at a public place, and under what circumstances you can get the police involved.
You don't really tell us why you think RW isn't letting go of the relationship. The way you describe it, it just sounds like he's showing up. I understand that is uncomfortable for you, but it's likely not criminal. If he shows up a private party he is not invited too, it's up to host to ask him to leave. If he shows up in a public place, that is when you want to have spoken to the police so you know under what circumstances you can report him.
You, and Robert, might both want to talk some precautions like making sure you aren't posting your whereabouts all over social media (which you really shouldn't be doing anyways, it's not ever safe to do that.) This is a good time as any to double check your privacy settings, and take a special care of what information you give away online.
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