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Nervous about HIV test?
I had unprotected sex about a year ago with my then-boyfriend. Prior to having unprotected sex, I asked him to get tested for HIV and other STIs.
He lived in a different city, so I couldn't go with him to make sure he actually got tested. He said that he did, though, and showed me a piece of paper from the clinic, signed by a nurse, stating that he was HIV negative.
I didn't question it at the time, but as our relationship progressed I learned that he was dishonest about a lot of things - a year later, I am suddenly extremely anxious that he lied to me about the HIV test and forged the letter.
My main concern is that my current boyfriend and I had unprotected sex; he's never had unprotected sex before, so I know he's clean, and when he asked me, I told him that my ex (the only person I'd previously had unprotected sex with) had been tested and was clean.
Being infected would be terrible, but passing it on to an innocent person would be even worse. I made an appointment to get tested Friday. Until then, I cant function; I'm an anxious mess. Any advice?
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I totally understand your concern. I myself had an incident about a decade ago that caused me months and months of anxiety about the possibility of contracting HIV or some other incurable STD.
But, in my time of distress, I made it my mission to learn and educate myself on these conditions.
The truth is that while it is always a good idea to protect yourself, and you really would be best off to consider this in the future, it is actually pretty hard to contact HIV. That's not necessarily the case with the other diseases out there but in all instances, medical advances have made these things treatable so that people can still live long and productive lives.
This informing was obtained from a world renowned medical doctor specializing in STDs based out of Seattle, Washington.
If you find that you have HIV, know that you can carry on. And while it's doubtful that you both have it and passed it along to your boyfriend, please know that if you did, you had no intent in hurting him in any way.
If your results come back negative, don't fret over your old boyfriend anymore. You are way past the window of when it would show up in your system so you should have no worries that the negative test was true and accurate.
Be strong and from now on, make sure to be safe.
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If you even suspect exposure to the virus the only sure way to know if you are positive or negative is by having a test. So you are doing the right thing. Dishonesty is very damaging and impacts on all of another persons actions, once they hve been shown to be dishonest in one aspect it is hard to trust them again. Possibly the only thing I can think of to help is that HAD your previous boyfriend been tested positive, protecting you by bothering to lie to you and obtaining forged medical documents would probably not have been high on his list of concerns or priorities. It's rather a 'cool' and considered act for a man who would have just been given some devastating news if the test was positive. You are going to be anxious until you get the result. Of course the test, and worrying about it will have no bearing whatsoever on you now carrying the virus. If it happened it happened when or if you had unprotected sex with someone who had the virus. Stay calm and wait on that result. Don't try to predict it and don't worry about something which may not happen. My best wishes for the outcome you want. I have a hunch your previous boyfriends result would have been just as he claimed, based purely on the fact that you spent time with him afterwards, and being diagnosed HIV positive would surely not have been something he could have lived with and not cracked and let it slip. A chronic, ultimately fatal condition is not easy to live with. And his medication regime and subsequent medical appointments would also have been difficult to hide from you had he tested positive.
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