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should i give this a chance?
I'm a 20 year old girl and about a month ago I met this 26 year old guy. He's roommates with my best friend so I see him quite a bit and we've hung out alone a few times. He's the sweetest guy ever - always paying for dinner, buying flowers randomly, and just the little things he does. He told me he loves me and it freaked me out. I like him but we barely know each other. And we've had intercourse once and he's just too gentle for my liking. And to be honest his age kind of intimidates me but I've never met someone as sweet as him and my friend keep telling me that if I should be with someone it should be him. I dont know if I should give this a chance.
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It all depends on what you are looking for in a guy as to whether he fits the bill as far as what you are needing and wanting in a guy. If you don't have a clue yet what you want or need in a guy, that's what dating is for. At 20, you probably have a lot of dating to do yet to gather together an idea from experiences, what works for you and what doesn't.
At 26 he's had more time to figure out what he wants. That is the only issue I see with your difference in age. I'll bet at 20, he wasn't too sure what he wanted yet either.
You did mention, he's too gentle for your liking. there's one preference already. Although he may have been holding back to not scare you away and let you initiate the pace, my guess is that the attraction to him sexually is not as strong as the one to his character so far. How much attraction is there, does his looking at you with desire make your heart do flip flops or the touch of his hand, does he incite passion in you? Do you crave his touch, want more? There is a chance you are sexually mismatched even though everything else is fine. Often one person falls in love and the other doesn't. A month isn't long enough to get to know the person. He will still be reacting to NRE, New Relationship energy which is a strong, heightened place of ones feelings simply due to the newness of something, as a kid, the new christmas toy, as an adult, the new dating partner. Once this wears off in a few months, it's then people know if there will be desire to last a lifetime, or the lifetime of the relationship. What your friends say about his character is good. However they cannot know if the two of you have great chemistry together or not. He may feel it and you don't. this isn't something that grows on you and shows up later. Either you feel sexual attraction and want him that way or you don't. Since the sturdy base for a healthy relationship depends on two things, being the best of friends, and the other, sexual compatibility, you may want to check it out again. It could have been an off day for him and you. BUT if the next couple times with him for lovemaking are not spectacular for you, then it's best not to get serious with him. Don't lead him on. Dont make him guess if you decide to cut it off with him. If he asks why, you tell him that you dont feel any chemistry with him. Make a list of the sweet things about him that you like and look for that And the sexual chemistry in the next guy. Not trying to talk you out of dating him, but there could be reason to be on guard and cautious enough to take things really slowly with him to give his true character and objective to come through and show themselves. It's not many guys who can say they love you after a couple of dates. It can mean that he really is ready to marry and thats one reason for being able to say he loves you. There are also cautions as to why a guy might say I love you too early, he's looking for a mommy replacement to take care of him, saying the words before being sexual with a girl to get into a girls pants, saying I love you to see how easy it is to manipulate her to do his will, "If you love me too, you'll do this with me, or for me". Sometimes, a guy says I love you when all they did is use the wrong word, it means they really like a lot of things about you but aren't necessarily "In Love" with you yet. This love is a preference for something, like you have a preference for certain music, clothing style, foods, etc... LIke "i Love the Beatles, I love chocolate ice-cream. That kind of love isn't the kind needed for a relationship. These possible warnings for a guy saying i love you too early is something I found in a couple different relationship advice columns and reworded to my own words. So you can give it a little more time but if he pressures you to say I love you in return, you'll have to tell him you don't know him long enough to have developed any feelings yet. And then tell him you'll be sure to let him know if the feeling do come or if they never do.
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Personally, I believe that within reason, age is just a number. The age difference between the two of you is something far too insignificant to play a factor in what could be a wonderful relationship.
As far as the "I love you" goes, I can understand how that might freak you out a bit so early on in knowing each other. Perhaps you should make your feeling on this known. After all, if you do plan to pursue this as a relationship, honesty is a crucial thing for any couple.
All in all, I say give it a try. After all, what do you have to lose? You'll never know what could be if you don't give it a shot.
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Hi there!
He seems like a nice guy!
Let's take this step by step
Let's start with age,women mature much faster than men do,so age the age difference here is actually quite perfect for you,when you are at such a young age,dating a man who no less than 7 years older than you is quite acceptable.
It's something to have been thought of at first before you started dating
Nonetheless,his behavior seems to be very gentle and kind,and that must be admired
You said you barely know him,and yet you both have slept together
From what I have read you both took things too fast
That's not a problem,and it can be worked at
Ask yourself a few things,do you feel happy or safe,or secure when you are with him? Is he respectful to you? I sure hope so!
Make sure you both communicate with each other so you both have an understanding of what you both want
Please sit and talk with him
But make sure you do some thinking before making a decision either way
It kind of sounds like you've already stepped forward and given him a chance
You have no idea whether he is ''The One'' or not
You are at such a young age,so please see if this is really want you want,being serious
Be blessed my dear! May your heart decide what is best for your life and spirit <3
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