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HELP ME PLEASE!!!
My friend and i were just at the pool hanging out and these boys came up to us and started talking to us. We thought they were nice...but we thought wrong. They took us to the shallow end and started jumping on us and then they started touching us... IN THOSE PLACES!! We tried all we could to get away from them but we couldn't get away. Then they started doing that with us. we felt their you-know-whats on our frontal privates and our back privates. so basically what I'm trying to say is that they ra*** us. when they finally stopped, we got out of the pool and started crying. I need something to keep my mind off of wanting to beat the living hell out of all of them but nothing is working. Usually music and dancing is what gets my mind off of things, but not this time. Can you give me any songs or anything to do to not want to beat the living hell out of them and am able to go to the pool without remembering what happened?
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It sounds as though you know exactly who the boys are and where adults can find them. That's a good thing.
What you need to do is tell your parents exactly what you said here about them grabbing you inappropriately, pressing themselves against you etc. etc. and that you and the other girls told them NO.
Your parents will know that this is sexual assault and will know exactly what needs to be done about reporting it to people in law enforcement so that these guys can't go on doing it to other girls and women. You need to speak up and speak out on this.
You also NEED support from adults to know that you yourself and the other girls did nothing wrong and to deal with this. They should get you counseling and someone to talk to about this and to empower you. The music etc. helps but you really need this on top.
I would talk to your parents about loving swimming and wanting to enjoy that pool like anyone else but are scared to go back and to run into these people again or trigger a very bad memory. They will know how to proceed.
This is one of those icky situations that you don't keep to yourself. You need to tell your family or these idiots will keep getting away with it and you won't get the help you need from adults who can deal with them head on.
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Hi. Best to each describe the incident to your parents exactly the way you have to us. Not the parts about wanting to beat them or how to take your mind off it, just the facts of what happened. They perhaps got a bit over-excited and went much too far and they probably are not dangerous rapists. But they have NO RIGHT to force themselves on you or your friend like this and upset you both. That invades YOUR rights. They need some authority figures (parents, manager of the pool/leisure centre) to come down hard on them and make them understand this. It may or may not need police intervention, that might depend on their ages and perhaps their backgrounds and if they have been involved in stuff like this before. Getting your male friends to go and beat them up is not a great idea. And do try to put the event behind you. Telling your parents in itself might well be the first big step in making you feel free of it. Although you have every right to feel angry at what they did, we start to feel better when we let some of the anger go. It makes that 'hold' the offender has on our feelings much less strong. Best wishes to you both. X X
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You were not raped, what you were was sexually harassed WHICH IS A FELONY CRIME. What you need to do is call the police and report the boys who did this to you. I just as certain that the boys thought they were just having some fun, what they did may have been fun to them but under the law it was a crime and they need to learn that they cannot have this type of fun at other peoples expense.
By reporting what happened to you and your friends several things happen.
1. These boys learn what they did was wrong and they get punished by the courts for doing so.
2. Other boys learn that what these boys did was wrong and what can happen to them if the do as they did. By making a police report of this and allowing the police to handle this you send a message to every other boy in school and around town that this type of fun is unacceptable.
3. It starts the healing process for you as it brings some closure to what has happened to you. This event was very traumatic for you and it needs to be dealt with a closure for you has to happen. Closure must include punishment for those who hurt you.
You also need to tell your parents, not that you need them to make the police report. The police will take a report from you but they will also want to talk with your parents if you are under a certain age. So it is best that you tell your parents what happened. Yes the will be upset but not at you. YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT.
There are other things that only your parents can do to make sure this never happens again. Such as finding out why the life guards did not see this and stop it. If the life guards did see it why was it not reported to the police and in their daily report to the pool operator.
Last there is a phone number I would like you to call and to give to your friends. it is 1-500-656-HOPE. This number will connect you to an organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Incest, Abuse, National Network. The calls are anonymous and confidential. They are answered by trained volunteers who can help you find the right help in the form of counselors in your home town who can help you deal properly with this. The phone is answered 247 365 days a year.
Please tell your parents, make a police report and call RAINN.
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Hey Sweet heart!!! I'm very sorry for what happened too you. This might not be the answer your looking for, but I feel its the best. In order too let goo of the pain, the stress, the hatred and all the anger that is build up inside of you from what happened the best relief you will get is when you forgive them and let God deal with them.
God bless.
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You need to talk to an adult.
The people who run the pool, need to know that this assault took place. They need to be able to be on the look out for these boys, in case they come back and try to abuse more girls.
That is the best thing you can do to make the pool a safe place to be for you and everyone else. This isn't the kind of thing you just have to keep your mind off of, this is something that MUST be addressed by the adults in charge of this space.
You don't have to just get over this and not think about it anymore. It was a crime and you should report it.
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