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How should I act around him now?
20/f
There was this guy in college that I confessed my feelings to. He was a bit startled by my confession but he said we could try dating after our exam term is over. After 2 months he hasn't sent me a single text. We live in different towns. It is clear to me that he doesn't like me. I'm incredibly mad that he wasn't honest. I told him that it's ok if he doesn't like me back,that I understand and we can still stay friends. In spite of that he insisted he likes me. And then he went without even acknowledging my existence. I have an exam in 2 days and he'll be there too. I hate liars from the bottom of my soul. I will have a hard time resisting my urge to rip him apart. Confronting him will not help because he just avoids the subject. So,how do you suggest I should act around him? I'm a medical student and I am here to help people,not hurt them. But I really have an urge to kick this guy's a**.
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Frankly I think you should just act like you're over it. Sure you may not really be over it but playing it cool will prevent you from coming across as desperate. He's probably not sure of his feelings towards you and was probably scared or intimidated so give him time. If he doesn't come to his senses then forget him and move on. You need to focus on your tests. And as for his lying, I'm not defending him but there are worse things in the world. Try to calm down and not overreact. Like I said earlier he probably was not sure of his feelings towards you and who knows maybe he actually wanted to call but something came up. So just play it cool and when you see him smile like there's nothing wrong
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I have to agree with the others here. if its testing time at school then your probably more stressed on more levels in your head then you think you are. put him out of your mind and just play it cool when you see him during the class you have with him. you can smile and acknowledge him but he probably ALREADY thinks your pissed at him thats why he hasnt answered you because if he knows that you know that he doesnt like confrontation and/or will avoid things then why WOULD he come to you?
Hes probably scared of you NOW. so just calm down a bit, there may be a really good reason right now for why he didnt come to you. so right now all you can do is kind of "kill with kindness" whenever you DO see him and hopefully he will let down his guard enough to tell you what happened. try not to pressure him too much he may turn out the be the type to just start avoiding you all together and actively make SURE your not going to be somewhere where he might be going.
your frustration is warranted i understand the feeling but like the others said you HAVE to try to calm down a little and let the chips fall will they may and wait to see what happens. impatience will never get you anywhere even though it may feel like you need results now. we here on the site understand that your just frustrated and venting right now, but try to keep it together. good luck sweetie. ; )
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I think you should rise above it. I would just act natural and friendly towards him. It's loss in the end anyways. You can just say 'hi how are you?' and end it there instead of getting into the whole thing. Maybe he was nervous to tell you that he didn't feel the same way. Regardless, you should move on because he's the past and you should be looking toward your future.
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You are over-reacting.
You are stressed, and hurt, and over-reacting.
You did a good, brave thing telling him the truth about your feelings - but just because he hasn't followed up yet doesn't mean he's a horrible human being and a liar. It just means he isn't as brave as you are.
He might have been perfectly honest with you at the time - but it doesn't mean it's that simple for him, or that his feelings have stayed the same, or that he isn't afraid or shy. You don't know him. You don't know his heart, and you don't know what shit is going down in his world. Have a bit more humility when passing judgement.
So check your wrath. He's proven he's imperfect - and probably not someone you really want to date - but not that he is an asshole or a monster. Stop jumping to the worst assumptions about your fellow human beings.
It's fine to be annoyed with him, but there is nothing you've said here that makes this degree of anger or kicking his ass, or even confronting him, a reasonable reaction. You are legitimately stressed out about your exams, don't let that stress turn you into an unforgiving jerk towards others. Ignore this guy. He probably just chickened out. Human beings do that. Someday you might end up doing it. It's annoying and disappointing, but it's not reason to behave with judgement or cruelty towards others.
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