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transitioning male to female
I'm one year into transition from M to F,had an orchi in December,been living as a female since.I've had my gender marker changed {social security,insurances,titles and deeds,driver's license,credit cards,etc.}I show significant growth in breasts and hips.I still get called Sir often and get stared at and called names (99% of the time by males of all ages}.I try not to show how hurtful these things affect me and try to exit bad scenes as fast as I can without crying {blood in the water and all that}.I often fear for my safety and am constantly looking for escape routes and safe places.My female friends say this is all part of the female experience and to get used to it.Now I wonder if I'm brave enough to be female,I never considered that being trans was always living in fear.What should I do now? I'm finally happy with myself and now I'm scared to go on.What do I do now???
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
i know it might be scary. The only thing i will tell is dont listen to oher people. Hang out with your friends. And you will be fine
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The only people who can understand fully your position and be the best support and at least to start for now, a positive group of friends would be any in the same position as you, a support group for trans people. Razhies right about what females in general have to put up with. However I think you are more concerned with people still calling you Sir and not recognizing you as female. There have been plenty of times in life that I have come across women who are not trans gender and look like men and are wearing clothing that hides the body and are maybe overweight so I cant tell or the voice sounds deep enough to be male and I just assume without thinking that the person is male and have sometimes addressed someone as Sir only to be told she was female and then I am horribly embarassed. You don't have to admit to anyone that you are trans. For all they know right now at this point, you are just one of those females whose body or voice reminds them of male. Sorry I didnt see this earllier, I try to scan for new messages but they dont always pop in at top of list with other new ones for me and fall somewhere further down the list so I accidently found this now.
It takes a lot of bravery to have gone as far as you have already. And you know in your heart you will never be happy if you backed out now. Living the rest of your life as a male is not the answer.
Yes, there will be people who figure out that you were born into a male body orginally and shun you or bully. People get bullied every day for various reasons. It isn't right. Often the bullying is done by immature people who dont know any better...you'd think they would with all the media to be tolerant of all sexual preferances and identities but it takes a long time. People also tend to be afraid of and don't know how to respond to someone like you if they must interact withyou and will usually botch it up by saying and doing the wrong thing, sometimes unintentionally.
All I can think of is if you would consider educating the rest of us. Be one who joins in to educating the masses on transgender by starting a blog, sharing your stories and others, how you have feelings, the common mistakes non trans gender people make with you. What you wish people wouldn't do. You might find if there is a newspaper or local talk radio that would share about what you are doing to gain more notice for your blog and begin to make a difference in your part of the world.
Good luck dear.
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Goodness. You have to wait more than a few hours! It's not a chat room. Questions are screened, and even then, early morning on a Saturday is a slowish time!
But you are right - chances are no one here has a good answer for you. You'd be best to reach out to a therapist or a support/social group for trans women. You are going through a very particular transition and struggles. Not everyone is going to be able to relate or offer good advice.
It's true that being a woman - out in public - means being at risk for cruel comments about your body, about your weight, about what you are wearing. I live in a big city and it's unusual for me to get through a month without some form of casual street harassment. Some of it's simple rudeness like insisting I smile or cat-calling, and some of it is vulgar and/or frightening. Most women spend a lot of time being aware, on some level, of safe spaces and not safe spaces to be in, and when they are in spaces that are less safe, of ways to get away or get help quickly. That is, unfortunately, a normal part of womanhood.
And it'll be worse for you than a ciswomen - unfortunately - because you'll not just get the harassment aimed at you as a woman, but also as a trans person. You are on the receiving end of a double-bill of bullshit. You ARE at a greater risk of violence than a ciswomen is. Your female friends were right - but also wrong - statistically speaking, you've probably got it much worse than they do.
The best thing you can do is build a support network of positive people - including other trans and queer individuals - who you can talk too and be at peace with.
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