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My boyfriends mother hates me
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 3 years. He moved out of the country for college and now he's living with his dad, his step mom and his step siblings. His mother has hated me since the start. She always puts up a face and acts like everything is okay when she's in front of me and my family. I just found out recently that she has been trying to get rid of me by telling my boyfriend to leave me. She also keeps pairing my boyfriend up with girls that she is comfortable with. I dont know what I should do or how I should react. My boyfriend is very close to his mom and I dont want to ruin their relationship as much as possible. I hope he fights for me when the situation calls for it.
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I know how you feel! I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years and his mother acts the same way. Hopefully your boyfriend steps up to the plate and tells his mother to mind her own business. In my situation, my boyfriend ended up doing so and also began living with his dad instead. The good news is, you do not need to be threatened by his mother. Hopefully he stands up for you. But, regardless, you give him things his mother could never give him. He needs you. His mother is fighting a losing battle. She will regret the day that your boyfriend starts avoiding her because of her sour attitude.
Toodles,
Miss Piggy
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This is a tough situation to be in especially if you see yourself someday being her daughter in-law. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to change this and of course there are times you can change things how to do so differs for person to person.
What you can't do is buy someone's affection with gifts; this is false. Yes remember her Birthday and get her a gift at Christmas because it is the right thing to do. The wrong thing to do is to attempt to buy her affection and is something she will see right through and the problem whatever it is will worsen.
Have you had a talk with your boyfriend? Does he know why his mother doesn't like? Has he told you if he does? Is she a deeply religious women? If so are you and the boyfriend of two different religions? Being of two different religions is the biggest cause for parents to take immediate dislikes to their children's significant others.
I'm a bit confused as to how much interaction you might have with her now that your BF is out of the country. Be that as it may this is also a chance for you to get to know her better since he is. With her son not home you could stop by from time to time to check in on her to make sure she is okay. You can offer to help out with some of the things her son may have done for her if he were home.
This is also an opportunity to talk with her and find out why she doesn't like you. Maybe there is a certain kind of cake or pastry she likes. Get some and take it to her one afternoon or evening and ask if you and she could sit and talk for a bit.
Then be straight with her and tell her that you are aware she does not see you as someone good enough for her boy let alone her possible future daughter in-law. Then tell her how much you love him and how much you believe he loves you. That you don't want to come between him and her. Ask her to be honest with you and to tell you what it is she doesn't like about you. If it is something you can change or discuss with her you will; if not you will just get up and leave but there will be no fight and no one will be harmed.
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First, try to be extra nice to his mother. Send her presents on Mother's Day, Christmas, etc. When you see her, compliment her blouse or her shoes or her house. If that fails try asking your boyfriend why she doesn't like you and make sure that he has no interest in being paired up with these other girls. Talk to him about the whole situation. Maybe it's just some behavior or characteristic about you that you can easily change around her. Ex: covering up a tattoo that she doesn't like or whatever it is about you that she doesn't approve of.
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