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This is honestly keeping me restless/sad. Some advice would ease my mind.
Can't sleep, feeling so low right now?
There's this guy who I thought was great for me. We've been friend for 5 years and he's always been a sweetheart. He started showing interest in me towards the end of last year and we've been flirting ever since. He has said he has always liked me and is afraid because of school he won't get to hang out with me anymore. Recently things got more serious and we finally kissed and stuff. Right after that we each made plans to hang out but all of our plans fell through. He seemed a little ticked at this and wouldn't talk to me for days. I eventually ended up seeing him at a gig he was doing, and his ex was there. He said hi to me but was ignoring her and had said he wanted to hang out with me that night after I had to leave. I felt fine about it until just today he texted me saying he had a gf again and just wanted to let me know. My bests girlfriend whom is also friends with him confronted him and asked how he could do this to me out of the blue? He said he didn't want to hurt me and he thought he liked me but he doesn't. Despite not liking me he couldn't stop saying I'm sorry, I feel bad etc and says he still wants to hang out with me and "make up" for it. I don't understand, if he doesn't want me why not leave me alone? We weren't super close friends so it's not like he losing much. If he's not into me why try to keep seeing me? Wouldn't he be more concerned with his ex gf who he's gotten back with?
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He didn't do anything to you. A kiss is not a contract. All it means is "I like you". It is not a promise of a relationship. Nothing got "serious" between you.
I think the reason he is still talking to you is because he wants to stay friends. He obviously prefers his ex to you. This is why he is dating her. But, he still wants you as a friend.
Sorry if this sounds harsh or if this isn't what you want to hear. It's just that it sounds as though he has been honest with you. He told you he has a girlfriend. That is him making his choice. You need to respect that.
Your favourite muppet,
Miss Piggy
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These situations are tough to be in. It sucks when someone you really liked doesn't want to be with you.
I don't know what reasons he has going on, I can only guess.
Maybe he liked you, but still like his ex a little bit more. Maybe he did like you but stopped because he realized you guys just wouldn't be right together and the personalities didn't click.
As for him saying he still wants to hang out with you, maybe he genuinely does feel bad. Maybe he sees you as a friend and wants to continue with just a friendship, or maybe he's keeping his options open.
To be honest, I know you like him but don't think too much into his actions. He doesn't really seem to know what he wants.
I'd suggest not hanging out with him until you're over him. Just try to keep the contact to a minimal.
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The world of relationships and love can be confusing more often than not. We venture into dating without having any experience on how to's so all of us make mistakes, I did too.
And we all get our hearts broke, I did too.
And sometimes we or the other person truly thinks they are into the other until they meet someone else and now have something to compare and realize that there is someone more perfect than you. I have done that and had it done to me.
So basicly honey, you aren't the only one this happens to. The only thing that can help the broke hearts, confusion or sadness is understanding human nature, and know up front the myriad of possibilities in the realm of dating both good and bad and understanding that the only thing you have any control over is yourself and your feelings and reactions. We can not control how another person will decide, as we all have free will.
Now don't take me wrong that you are less than perfect a person, that something makes you flawed if he decided to go after another girl to date instead of you. Its a matter of one person being a better fit for our own personality...just as there really is no one size fits all in clothing. Some are too long or short in the leg, the torso or sleeves too long, too wide or skinny a shirt, wrong color for us...etc... I am sure you can understand this comparison.
Now on to why he is insisting on keeping in touch and being friends. I can't read his mind and know his personal reasons why. It could be he still wants to hang out and just be friends because as he said, he feels really bad, truly didn't mean for this to happen. It happened to me too. I was divorced and dating again in my forties. Met a nice guy, both he and I kept dating profiles open though as we realized that though we were great together, for a life long partner, we both were going to keep options open for meeting someone better. If that didn't come along, we'd stay together. I had someone write to me while I was dating the other. ThiS one sounded like a good possibility for me. I didnt hear from the first guy for some time. When I finally did, he told me an old girlfriend wanted to get back together with him and he was going to do that, and not see me anymore because the two of them had been perfect for each other. And he said he was sorry and hoped I understood. I said I did and told him I'd met a guy that sounded pretty good and we'd been talking on the phone all week, it was friday and I would finally meet him on the weekend. So I didn't know it was a for sure thing yet. I had to deal with the thoughts that come to mind....they always do, of wondering what the other girl is like that makes them more perfect a fit for the guy than me. I of course am older and have learned some things in life. I could have let my thoughts grow out of control and start to question what might be wrong with me but I knew better and had to remind myself that I cant be perfect for every male on the planet that I might meet and the same goes for the guy. I knew that I would be perfect as I was without having to change a single thing about myself if I met the right guy. Turns out the other guy I met that weekend became my 2nd husband. Been together 5 years this month.
If I were you, I'd not spend any time with the other guy together unless you know two things, that you feelings can handle it, and that the old girl friend of his can handle it without being jealous. If you're considering it, dont take his word for it, hear it from her. Unfortunately due to inexperience in dating, this guy was not thinking of how his wanting to hang out with you still out of guilt is going to affect your own feelings. I would guess its not done on purpose with intent to make you feel bad so don't hold it against him. Just thank him and say whatever feels right for you. Perhaps you'll say," not right now...maybe later...I need some time to process through this." Or maybe, "not in person but you can keep in touch with me on facebook." Funny thing is, the old boyfriend before my husband is doing just that, keeps in touch on facebook and also with all my daughters on facebook. They all genuinely still like him...he's a good person. But they also like my current husband.
Hopes this all helps you process through how you are feeling and help you gain some understanding and still feel good about yourself. Cus truly you are perfect for someone, thing is to just find him.
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