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Abusive ex will not leave me alone and acts suspicious more and more.
When I was 15 years old I dated a 16 year old boy for about only 6 months. He was very controling, had anger issues with many people, was a rebel, fighter, robber, and "wannabe" gang member. He was always nice to me though. Did a lot for me, but also made me do many things I did not want to do as a highschool freshman like sneak from home at night and turn into a rebel also. After those few months I started to have many problems with my family and people I did not know. (Many school fights and school discipline also). So I decided to end the relationship. This boy did not want our relationship to end even though he had another girlfriend which I didn't know about until after. He started to follow me EVERYWHERE... Would not leave me alone and I started to get scared. Many he would not leave my personal space and would grab me, causing me to fight back and leading fights into bloody fights. My best friend has witnessed many and I went to court, got a restraining oder against this boy, but I feel like not much was done because we were both minors.
Now I am 18 years old and 7 months pregnant. He is about 19 or 20. Unfortunately we live in the same area but different neighborhoods. Basically like 10 minutes away I'm car and he knows where I live. The very last time we saw each other at the mall and he gave me a very strong uncomfortable look, but did not say anything and I left (with my boyfriend) immediately to avoid problems from my ex. I have him blocked on the social network, Facebook, but he made a new account to look at my page and send me a message with strong language calling me a "b*tch" and to "shut the f*ck up" and mind my own business. I honestly have not spoken to anyone about him except for his ex girlfriend or current girlfriend (I don't know) because she blocked me after she asked me for help because she also had an abusive relationship with him and thought I would understand her situation. I did not find out what happened at the end of their courts, she even showed me the paper work, but it must of been something minor since he still harrased me on Facebook. She also told me he always threatened me and still had plans for having me and my family pay for what we did, which was only report him to the police when he hit me. I don't understand why she asked for my help and then blocked me, or why he made another Facebook to keep looking at my profile. I wonder
I am scared because I am holding my child and I am sure he is aware of it since we know many of the same people. But I don't think the police will say much because he did not directly threaten me, What should I do? Leave things alone and worry about my pregnancy? Or go and maybe even have to face him I'm court again and have him be even more mad after nothing is done about him? I feel like it will be a risk.:(
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Unfortunately, its unlikely you can get the police involved because you heard from someone else that he is still holding a grudge. Rumours are not enough to go on.
You don't mention if your restraining order is still current, but if it is, and his contact with you on Facebook violated it, then you should absolutely report that. At this point, you should report absolutely anything he does that is in violation of your restraining order. No second chances and no mercy. Even if your restraining order has lapsed you may still want to contact the police, or a charity working with victims of abuse, and ask if his nasty Facebook message might be enough to get you another one. It's unlikely, but it might worth investigating.
Just keep him blocked. He probably only reached out because his girlfriend went to you for help. It's awful that he has moved on to another victim, but after several years without contact, it does seem that he has moved on. By all means look into your options and take some persuasions, but try not to loose any sleep over this.
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Doesnt sound like you have anything to report and besides no reason that you have shared yet as to why you feel you may have to face him in court again, is there a court date coming up? For what?
You hang out with the same friends and live in the same neighborhood. If it were me, and I feared for my life, I certainly would not hang out anywhere that I might run into him.
I know it may be expensive to relocate but to me that makes most sense, as it will give you some piece of mind. You must not see any old friends because they can inadvertantly share your new address and contacts with him. Its a toss up between your safety and that of your child or seeing friends. I would think that a mothers instincts to protect her young would be stronger.
As for the facebook profile, I know someone who had the same problem. Since he can keep changing and making new profiles to keep in touch with you, treat this as a spam problem. When someone's facebook acct has been compromised, you shut it down and create a new one. BUT the new one must not have your real name otherwise its too easy for him to search and find it again. Use something made up like Luna Moonwalker. I am sure you can come up with something better. Send friend requests to any friends who dont know both you and him. Otherwise he can just go onto their friends list and keep trying until he finds you under the made up name cus of course there'll be your photos in there. If you dont follow these precautions, he will find you online and continue to harass you there.
Hope this helps a bit.
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