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I think my boyfriend is cheating
So, I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. I have a bit of proof. The girl I think he's cheating with has done this to me before. I was sitting right next to her and I looked over and saw she had a conversation with my ex boyfriend (boyfriend at the time) and it was extremely dirty, talking about how what they would do to each other once they saw each other later. My boyfriend now, talks to her until 5 in the morning sometimes. He ignores me and texts her. He once told me he has cheated before, on a ex girlfriend. I just want to know what I should do about it. I've been cheated on before, but I honestly love this guy and I'm confused on how to confront him, or if I should. Do I have enough proof?
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You already have proof that he is a first class JERK, what more do you need?!!! He texts HER and ignores YOU! It is time to kick him to the curb! (And by the way,please do it in the most humiliating way possible!) He needs to learn a lesson ASAP so that he does not continue to use girls this way! As for you, please try to understand that YOU are better than this. You may think you love him but this sort of relationship has nothing at all to do with love. You want to be loved and so you are allowing him to humiliate you and hurt you in the hope that he will see the error of his ways and change into a wonderful loving boyfriend. This is NOT going to happen. Let it go and move on. The next time be sure to choose a guy who thinks YOU are great as well!
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I'm kinda leaning both ways on this situation once I read Dragonflymagics advice.
Usually I'll tell you to talk to him. Let him know how you feel and set boundaries for what is ok and what's not ok.
You need to let him know that even if he isn't cheating, texting her until 5am isn't ok.
I'm pretty sure innocent conversation isn't happening that late at night anyways.
But to be honest, if I was in your situation, I'd just leave. There is no trust in this relationship. It seems like you're always going to have your doubts.
Plus you want a guy who won't be texting other girls late at night or ignoring you.
Unless you actually are fine with a guy who is up late flirting with other girls and texting them, then stay.
Most likely if you talk to him about it, he'll say it's not like that, they're just friends, it doesn't mean anything, or that he'll stop texting her late.
But will you actually know? Will you actually trust him?
That's just something you'll have to think about for yourself.
Think about what you want and what you're really looking for.
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Hon, dating is a two level process. At the first level, there is no commitment to each other and you are only dating which I call hanging out with the person enough to discover what they are like 24/7 under all sorts of circumstances, their character, who they are at core, their beliefs, morals, hopes, dreams, and how they treat a woman, hopefully with respect.
Once the two have determined they both have alot in common and are beginning to have feelings for each other, they make a commitment to each other to be exclusive with each other.
At level one, two people may use this investigation time to check out only the one person at a time or date around several persons at the same time if there are several prospects and then make up your mind which of them you want to focus solely on. As long as a person is up front before accepting a date that they are also planning on dating a few others at the same time until you find someone that you really like. Guys have no problem with this, At least most dont, if he does, dont bother with him.
Now ask your self why you are dating or what your end goal is. Is it to just look cool for your friends cus you have a boyfriend? Just a social thing? Are you trying to figure out what you like and don't like in a guy?
If a girl has parents who were abusive to each other, she may have no idea what is a proper way to treat another human in any kind of relationship, not just dating ones.
Based on what level one of dating is, the moment you find there are too many things you do not like about a guy, its time to dump him. Our hearts will always have feelings in a relationship and it will hurt when we choose to dump the guy. But deciding to stay could end up being a life long of hurt way worse than the short hurt of heart break when you break off with a guy who is a dud. I was married at 20 and discovered after that he was abusive verbally and emotionally. I put up with the hurt for years until I woke up and left him. Now I try to share some common sense I wish someone had tried harder to share with me.
Lets make a list of what it looks like to me that you are willing to accept in a guy.
You want a guy who never excercises any self control when it comes to other females who flirt and try to entice him. You want a guy who is dishonest, You want a guy who will cheat on you while dating you. You want a guy who prefers getting off by phone sex or computer sex instead of investing the time into masturbation or if you are willing, to pleasing you sexually. You want a guy who ignores you.
Hmmm that wouldnt be my choice for a guy but if you stay with him, basically what you are saying to yourself is that this is what you want or are willing to put up with.
Usually this is a sign that the girl either has no clue what she wants or little experience in relationships and dating and no idea of what to look for to find a good guy. Sometimes it also means that she lacks self confidence or has a low self image and doesnt think she deserves anyone better.
You don't have to decide if he is currently cheating or not, or have proof. You don't have to confront him about it. According to the list I made, if you don't like any of that, get rid of him and look for someone better. Just break up with him. If he asks why, you're looking for someone better suited to you. And please dear, don't ever settle for less no matter what age you are. Its a learning process but during thilearning process of dating, you don't have to put up with Jerk-boyfriends.
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