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my boyfriend tends be inappropriate
Im Jade and im 14 and ive been dating my boyfriend Nick, 17, for almost more than a year. I feel like he tends to be overprotective and won't ever let me be around other people unless im next to him or whatever and it annoys me.And if we're out in public or with friends he can get a bit touchy feely, and I get embarrassed, and he does this mostly when we're around his friends. He'll grab my butt in front of them or smack it and its just so annoying cuz he thinks its funny and if I try and tell him to stop but he just tells me to shut up or he'll kiss me so I can shut up. I dont know why he does this and it really gets to me. There was an incident where we were at his friends house and he just shoved his hands down my pants without asking or telling me, and I told him to stop because his friend was watching and he gave me this death stare and told me to just go with it and I didn't want to, and he just leaned and kissed me so that I couldn't say anything else. Why does he do these things to me, I feel like he disregards my feelings when it comes to stuff like that. How do I tell him not to do this, I really dont want this to happen anymore.
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Sweetheart, people who love you respect your wishes and your boyfriend is not doing that - your body is your own and only you get to say how it is treated - by giving you the death stare and telling you to go with it your boyfriend is being disrespectful and controlling. People who care about you do not try to control you to get what they want. Please realise how precious you are and that you should be treated as such
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May I just call you friend even though we are not that close?
Anyway,just tell him that his overprotectiveness will just kill your relationship slowly and try to understand his POV point of view besides he might have had some history of being too lenient in a relationship
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He's crossed the line of being inappropriate. He's very controlling.
If I were you, I would have dumped him a long time ago.
Even if he wasn't around his friends and doing this, it doesn't matter, he shouldn't do ANYTHING when you've said no.
This could seriously be sexual harassment.
You need to sit him down and talk about it. Tell him that you are not ok with him doing ANY of that and it makes you very, very uncomfortable. If he keeps doing it, or brushes it off, you need to break up with him. It wouldn't be smart to be with someone who doesn't care about how you feel. It could lead to worse things since he really doesn't care when you say no.
It might not seem like it, but he definitely has the possibility of rape.
He could tell you he loves you or even say the line, "If you love me you'd let me". That's not even close to love.
I dated a guy when I was 15. He was kinda the same way but not in public. But he was very touchy and I wasn't ready for that but he was very pushy about it. Eventually things went wrong and went very badly for me.
You can't let these things slide. It'll just get worse.
So take stand now and if he tries kissing you to get you to shut up, push him away and leave. He doesn't care about you.
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I know you like this guy but I will be blunt I don't fathom why. He sounds like a control freak, insecure and worst yet doesn't give a shit about your feelings.
What he is doing in public around friends and others is dead wrong. If he ever tries these things again knee him in the groin or slap him. He'll get it then.
I would tell him everything you just told us and that his behavior has crossed the line and if he scoffs at you or doesn't respect that give him the heave ho.
Also, if anyone be it a boyfriend or anyone else touches you in a sexually inappropriate way and you said STOP or NO than that's an assault regardless of relationship.
As embarrassed as you may feel about the whole thing tell your parents. Let them know he touched you twice and once he tried to force his hand where you didn't want it in front of others. Believe me they'll handle this and him for you. They need to know this guy is making you uncomfortable and you have no way of handling what he's doing as he doesn't understand NO.
He needs help to see that his actions aren't right. You also have to get assertive and if he assaults you fight him off. I think as much as you like him that it's not a healthy place for you.
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