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I met a friend online?


Question Posted Monday June 16 2014, 4:38 am

I met this girl online. She says she's 15. She seems like a normal teenage girl. I use fake pictures because I don't want to use my real ones, but I do use my real first name. She has asked me when my birthday was and how old I was but not like "out of the blue" or anything. We were just on that subject.

I do think I'm safe, and I'll tell you why: I don't use my real pictures, she does seem like a regular teenage girl, she's mentioned her family a few times, and I've seen her like twice. I know it could be anyone, and that the internet isn't exactly "safe", but should I make something up just in case?


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lightoftruth answered Monday June 16 2014, 3:46 pm:
The ways to be safe is to not give out where you live, like address or email address as they can easily find you on Facebook or something.

Although I don't understand why you're talking to someone online when you're just lying to them. I mean you're not exactly friends when you're doing that.

It's good that you're being safe but you're using fake pictures.

Anyways, if you're looking to meet friends, you might want to do it elsewhere in person because you won't be making real friends online when you're being fake.

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solidadvice4teens answered Monday June 16 2014, 3:29 pm:
You need not have lied or sent fake pictures. That was wrong. All you needed to do to protect yourself is NOT give your state, country, location or details about your family beyond that you have parents and X number of siblings and no names.

As far as birthday and age the person may have asked to know if you are the same age or out of curiosity and not for anything nefarious. You could say " I am 15" and born in October. That should be okay.

As far as pictures go you should have said for safety reasons my parents have told me not to send those. They should understand but if they didn't it may be a sign that they aren't who you think they are.

Remember if anything doesn't feel right to you that all you must do is tell your parents, log the e-mails and address and stop talking to them and let adults deal with the situation especially if it really crossed the line or seems predatory.

You probably have met an online friend the same age but like anything else treat that person like you would a stranger and what you wouldn't tell someone you didn't know or share when people you didn't know were also in the elevator. You should be fine that way.

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Razhie answered Monday June 16 2014, 1:41 pm:
Can you have a genuine friendship with someone if you are lying to them about who you are?

Look, there are a hundred ways you can slip up, and a person you are speaking to online can find you. Although I'm careful about what I post here on Advicenators, I've been here for years and mentioned friends, family, school and work. I'm sure a very, very dedicated individual could track down my personal email or social media accounts. I know that risk exists. I'm adult and I'm taking it.

Is this person a predator, out to snag you in some way? Probably not. But safety isn't about all the many, many perfectly friendly and kind people out there. It's about the very few people who are not friendly or kind.

The truth is that if you are looking for friends, you should volunteer or join a club, not look online. Online you should always be guarded and careful, especially as a minor.

The best thing you can do online is not 'lie' about your details but to say honestly "That isn't something I reveal to friends online." Not only will that often discourage a predator, you'll be helping other young people see that it's okay to set those sorts of boundaries. Some people may not want to be your friend if you do that, but you shouldn't be friends with people who don't respect your safety.

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