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My dad won't let me see my bf cause he's 2 yrs older than me
So I have boyfriend who is 17 and I am 15 (I'm a girl btw lol)
I told my dad about him and my dad refuses to meet him only cause we are 2 years apart. He says I cannot talk or see him. I have depression, and my boyfriend makes me happy, not much in my life makes me happy. So my dad is basically taking away my happiness. He thinks that all he wants to do is get in my pants but we've been dating for 5 months and we haven't had sex so I guess my dad doesn't know what he's talking about. Do you have any ideas on how to make my dad see that I need him?! He's super stubborn. Any ideas/advice would be great thank you!! I just wanna be able to see my boyfriend without it being a secret and behind my dad's back.
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Hey!
My main advice would be to have proper conversation with your dad. Like a sit down at a table kind of conversation. Ask him what his problems with you seeing this boy are and then try and come up with a solution to all the problems that arise.
For example if he thinks you are going to have sex and get pregnant, then ensure him that you will be as open as possible with him about sex and that you will use protection etc.
Try and explain that this guy makes you really happy, after all your dad will want that for you! Dads easily forget how quickly their 'little girl' grows up and you having an older boyfriend is probably terrifying for him!
Therefore, try and understand where he is coming from. Listen to what he has to say and his worries because he might just need you to respect and relate to them.
Perhaps after this conversation he will feel a little more comfortable with the idea. Try and invite your boyfriend to your house for dinner or something when your parents are there. Your dad will feel in control as it's in his house and it's a chance for the two men to meet and your dad can see what he is really like! I would recommend not getting to close to the boyfriend (no intense kisses etc) when your dad is around & try and make him as comfortable as possible.
At the end of the day, your dad was a teenager once and he knows how this all feels. Just allow him time to understand your point of view and he will respect you and trust you more if you deal with this situation in a grown up manner.
Hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck x
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I am a mom of 3 girls. I did my best to be open minded but also keep their safety in mind. As an adult, I know all too well how easy it is to get carried away from simple kisses to having sex. Dad's a male too and He knows that as well, and thats why he's not willing to have you see and date anyone. Even if a guy were your age or a year younger, puberty hormones at still at work in boys those ages as well, and the same thing Dad fears can happen. So its not an age thing really.
Is there a mom in the picture? If so, you may want to talk to them both on the suggestion I have. Some parents are open to negotiaton on certain situations and others aren't. You won't know if yours are until you try.
Since sex is the greatest concern for parents, heres what I offered my girls:
You can have a male friend over to visit at our house at times we are also present (and depending on how remote their bedroom was), have him as a guest in their room but door must remain open, or with some, not in the bedroom at all but hanging out with rest of family in the main living areas. This way you get to spend time together, the parents get to keep an eye on you to feel assured you are safe and actually get a chance to know the guy and get a feel for his personality and whether the boy treats you like a gentleman does and if he really likes you for yourself and not for sex. Its worth a try asking if this option is good enough for you for now. Otherwise, as long as you are living under their roof and under 18, you have to go along with their rules. Not all parents automatically come up with compromises like this. It just won't occur to them so you will need to bring it up.
If they, or Dad go for it and you ask male friends to come to your house and they wont, then you'll know that either the boy had only sex in mind or that they have other issues emotionally or mentally where they don't like adults and authority or feel intimidated with other people around and unable to be themselves. So it'd all be for the best. Very few boys ever came to our house even though they were invited.
Good luck!
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