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I'm a bad friend. Should I apologize, and how?
Today, my mom asked me how one of my acquaintances was; she said he seemed depressed. I said that I didn't know, and instantly felt guilty. We had gotten to be pretty good friends at the beginning of the school year, and although we've never dated, I've had a crush on him for a long time and he likes me too. But around Thanksgiving, he completely stopped talking to me, and being egocentric and clingy, I thought that maybe he was sick of me or being standoffish or that he didn't like me in the first place and asked him why he was "ignoring me". But now that I think about it, he has seemed depressed, and that didn't even occur to me because I'm horrible at reading emotions and really, really egocentric. Thinking about how other people are feeling doesn't come naturally to me; I'm very empathetic, but unless it's obvious how someone is feeling, I won't think anything of it. I hate how I just assumed that he was ignoring me out of some negative quality on his part. He's finally started talking to me a little bit more lately, and I was just about to send him a message on Facebook when I noticed that he unfriended me.
I want to apologize, but I have no idea how to do so. If I ask him if anything is wrong, he's probably going to push me away, especially since we've never been close friends. I've been a really horrible friend in a lot of ways, now that I think about it. What should I do?
For clarification, I'm a sophomore in high school.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Do you have his phone number? If not, just Facebook message him.
Apologize for being a "bad friend" and let him know that you feel awful for not noticing it sooner, and for assuming that it was something you did. Let him know that even though you guys aren't super close, you care about him, and that his happiness is important to you. Tell him that no matter what happens, you care and you're there for him if he ever needs/wants a shoulder to cry on, figuratively speaking.
He may not come around right away, but I'm sure he would appreciate the fact that you apologized to him and expressed that you cared about him and his feelings.
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Find a good friend is a very lucky thing in our studenthood ,and good friend also can forgive me when we do something wrong. So if you want to apologize,you should do. After all,we need friends in our daily life. I also have the same experience,so i learn you sincerely.
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If you feel the need to apologize, go ahead and do it. Just tell him you've noticed you've been a bad friend and you just wanted to apologize. You don't need some long speech or anything and you don't want to make it all about you either. So just say that and let him know that if he ever needs a friend, you're there for him.
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Some people find it hard to talk to others about their problems. I know quite a-few people who are like this, most of them are men - they don't want to burden others and let their actions speak louder than words. So try not to take what has happened to heart,much like RTGMC all I can advise is this:
Apologize for what you might have done and tell him that you're there for him. Then give him some space and time to think on what you've said.
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Your not a bad friend for not noticing this. Depression is often a taboo subject. So it is not you not being a bad many people don't know the signs of depression.
On way of saying sorry. Go up to him alone and tell him that you are here for him if he needs to talk and then say sorry for not being there before. Then try and strike a normal conversation.
Hope this helps
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