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Help! I don't know whats wrong! :(
I am 18 year old girl, i have had sex several times and have been fingered several times (all with my current bf). We have ben together for awhile now, but every time we have sex or he fingers me i always bleed. i have been able to keep it a secret this far but tonight he found out.
my question is 1.) what do i do about the bleeding?
And 2.) how do i calm him down, he thinks he "broke" me..
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If you bleed every time you have sex or do anything sexual, then there's a problem. You're not supposed to bleed.
So it's either something else going on down there and you need to see a doctor just in case it's an infection or something. Or it could be that you guys aren't using enough lubrication or he's too rough.
If you guys are using enough lubrication and he's not too rough, then you need to see your gynecologist and figure out what's going on.
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It may be best to see a doctor about the bleeding. I dont know if this is the problem but I have heard from a girl who wrote in who had a septate hymen wanting to know if the surgery would be painful. Its the first I'd ever heard of it but it could be a plausible cause. In these cases the hymen isn't off to one side or the other, its a tougher strip right down the middle of the vagina causing two smaller openings. Most girls will experience great pain inserting tampons not to mention attempting to have sex and there will be tearing which causes bleeding. You may have a higher pain tolerance so that part isn't an issue for you. Use a mirror and try to view yourself to see if you do have this strip of hymen membrane down the middle or have your boyfriend look. If neither of you can tell, either way, going to Planned parenthood or to the family doctor would be best, just to make sure everything is okay. I don't think it is something serious. But if you say you bleed, not only with fingering but with penitrative penis in vagina sex, then some skin is being torn each time and a doctor can take care of that.
Guys who have no idea whatsoever about the female anatomy and how it functions are more likely to think they "broke" something. Just reassure him that he is not at fault and that you will go see a doctor to get this taken care of once and for all.
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Let me make sure I understand what you wrote. You have only had sex with this one boy. Meaning he took your virginity. So when you say he thinks he broke you he is not meaning taking your virginity, he thinks he has hurt you.
If the answer is yes then he has and has not truly hurt you. If in losing your virginity you also lost your Hymen then he could have broken your Hymen but not totally dislodged it. Meaning Your Hymen or a portion of it still remains inside your vagina. With each subsequent intercourse what is left behind is probably tearing you a bit causing the bleeding. This is not all that unusual.
Many girls lose their Hymens long before they lose their virginity. A Hymen can be ruptured playing sports, horseback riding, and using tampons. Her virginity can only be lost when a boys penis enters her vagina for the first time.
What to do about this. First assure your boyfriend he has not harmed you. He has as the saying goes deflowered you when he took your virginity that he also ruptured your Hymen. Explain to him you need to see your GYN to make sure that the entire Hymen has been dislodged. IF not this is what is causing the problem and the doctor will correct it.
It is also possible that in rupturing your Hymen the inside of your vagina was torn. Continued intercourse reopens the wound and you bleed. Just as you would with any cut that does not heal fully and is reopened. Her again this is not a big deal and the doctor will fix the problem.
At 18 you are an adult now fully entitled to a sex life, even if your parents do not approve. You also have full medical confidentiality that all adults have. Meaning you no longer need mom or dads permission to see a doctor, even if you are seeing one under their health insurance.
As an adult your parent are no longer entitled to know anything about you medical treatment or see your medical records. So you can see your GYN and have this problem fixed without their knowledge. The only thing is your parents will know you saw a particular doctor when the explanation of benefits arrives from the insurance company.
The doctor cannot tell them why you were there and you don't have to. So make an appointment with your GYN and have the problem fixed. Based on what you wrote I am 95% certain this is what the problem is. Tell your boyfriend he didn't break you.
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