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Divorce, the other woman, revenge
Please help! I'm a teenager and my parents just got divorced. While they were still married, I found out that my dad had been cheating on my mom, and she knew this too. He had been calling 'the other woman' in secret and buying her lots of fancy things we can't afford, taking away from my childhood needs such as the books I wanted for my birthday but never got. (I also asked for these for Christmas but still didn't receive them). This other woman knew that my dad was married but went on cheating with him. I am so mad about this; as a parent, who can say that they did this? Imagine the hurt on the kid! How can I get revenge on the 'other woman'? Please help. BTW, my mom is really hurt by this. So, once again, revenge ideas, please? Thank you.
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There is an old saying about revenge; "that it is a dish best served cold."
What this means is you don't go off trying to hurt someone purposely in order to seek revenge. If you were to do so you would most likely be the one getting hurt or in trouble. Your father has shown his true colors which has been at the expense of you and your mother.
If you really want to get even with your father you show him that you and your mom can get along very well without him. You do this by being supportive of your mom. Helping her through the hurt she is suffering and getting her back on her feet.
You are a teenager as such in the divorce decree there is probably language as to custody and visitation. Mom most like has custody and dad has visitation rights. I know you probably don't want to visit with him and his girlfriend right now and it is possible he and she may be counting on that, so they can live their lives without working around a visitation schedule.
By you keeping to the visitation you are messing with him the way he messed with you while he cheated on you and your mom. You need to behave properly while with him and his girlfriend and maybe his girlfriend does not want to be with him when he has you. That would be in your favor if she didn't for messing with him points.
By forcing him to live up to his visitation schedule you are in a sense getting your revenge. You doing so in a manner served up cold for you are doing nothing other than what has been ordered by the courts. He cannot blame you as he is the one that brought this on himself. If he abuses you in any manner, this could include mental abuse, you report this to the social worker that is assigned to you by the courts. Again his doing not yours. Revenge served up cold.
IF I am right, based on the little your wrote about your father. By supporting your mom and following the orders in the divorce decree. Your father will serve up his own revenge on himself. All you have to do is sit back and watch. This is the best revenge and you will be serving it up cold.
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Divorce is hard no matter what the situation is. It's ten times harder when there is cheating and betrayal involved.
Rahzie already listed the reasons why betrayal won't work. Even though we'd like it to work out like it does in the movies, it just doesn't happen that way.
Cheating is selfish. And parents don't realize how much it ends up hurting the children involved.
Even though you're mad at this other woman, getting revenge on her won't solve the problem. I mean it's more your dads fault than it is hers. I mean he's the one who had a family and a wife, not her.
I think you need to talk to someone about this instead of trying to seek revenge. You'll still be angry about it when you do whatever you planned on doing and it won't change what happened. So you should talk to your parents. Let your mom know how upset you are by this, she'll comfort you and talk to you. She's hurt too but she's not seeking revenge. You can also talk to your dad and tell him how angry you are. You have every right to be angry.
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Your dad kept calling the other woman.
Your dad cheated on your mom.
Your dad kept buying her fancy things.
You'll notice a sameness to all of this. Divorces are hard and I'm sorry you have to go through this, but why blame someone else for your father's poor choices? It's natural to want to inflict the hurt you feel on someone else, but it's not worth the risks and it ultimately won't help you.
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Revenge doesn't work.
I know that's not the answer you want, but it is unfortunately true. The only place that revenge works is in the movies, or in books or on TV, because those are the only places where one person (the director, or the writer) have the complete and utter control over every person's behaviour and feelings to MAKE revenge work.
In real life, these are the things that usually happen when you try to take revenge:
You get caught (and the police might get involved);
You hurt someone else as well, or instead, of the person you wanted to hurt;
It backfires, and the people you are trying to avenge, end up respecting or trusting you less than before.
Or is simply fails, and the thing you think will hurt a person, doesn't bother them much at all.
You can't hurt this woman (or your father) as much as they have hurt you (and your mother). I sort of wish you could, but you can't, and if you try you will almost certainly hurt yourself in the process.
Confucius said "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." Revenge doesn't solve any problems, it just doubles them, and you are usually the one who suffers the most.
That doesn't mean you can't be angry, and it doesn't mean you have to forgive. You don't. Frankly tho, your father is far, far more to blame than this other woman. He lied to you and your mom, you can't know how many lies he told this other woman as well. As wrong as she might have been, his crime is far, far worse, and he is the one who owed your family respect. She might be a bitch, but she didn't 'make' him do it, he is the one who betrayed you.
The better way to deal with what has happened is probably to call your Dad on it, so he can understand exactly what you experienced, how his horrible behaviour has affected you and what you think of him now. Even if you need to put it all into a letter, let him know what he's done to you. If there is any decency left in him, the truth of his his own horrible mistakes will cause him more pain than anything you could do to this other woman.
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