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vacation with bf
21/f
My boyfriend and his friends keep talking about going somewhere for spring break. His friend (who I am very close to) said "you can't come unless you bring two girls for me & (the other friend)" I don't know if he was joking or not?! & then my boyfriend made a comment about how he doesn't think he'll have enough money for both of us to go.. & i said of course i'll pay for myself. & he said no (he pays for everything)
I wouldn't care about going somewhere with them on spring break. But, its me and my boyfriends 2 year anniversary like that same week.
don't you think we should spend that time together?
i don't care about him going on vacations with out me.. but it's just the fact it's our anniversary. am i wrong? i feel like this is justified.
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agree with the others; the timing is lousy though there is nothing you can do about that. I also think if you are the only female on the trip you are going to have a lousy spring break as you will be left out of most of what they will be doing. Which if I remember correctly is staying drunk and being obnoxious. The reason I say, “If I remember correctly," is for that is how I and most guys spend spring break.
I suggest as the others have that you let him go off with his friends for spring break. Celebrate your anniversary after; give him something to remind him what he is coming home to. A romantic dinner out or maybe you can cook a meal and then a romantic evening just the two of you.
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You're not wrong, you have every right to feel that way.
The thing is, it's just pretty much bad timing. In that situation, I'd plan for a day for just the two of you to do something special together after spring break. I don't think celebrating your anniversary on spring break with a bunch of his buddies will be that great.
The whole thing with his friend saying that, it's probably because they think you'll be spending your time hooked on him and he won't be able to hang out and do whatever else with them. Who knows really.
Then with the situation with your boyfriend wanting to pay for everything. He probably feels bad that he can't afford to take you. The problem is, he'd rather not have you go since he can't pay than have you go and you pay yourself.
It's something you two should talk about.
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Your feelings are rational. At the same time, you two are the victim of unfortunate timing as there's no control over when spring break is and this trip concerns more people other than you and your boyfriend. If what his friend said wasn't a joke, it might be possible that he's worried that the trip would turn into your anniversary trip instead of a trip equally about everyone.
Your boyfriend doesn't want you to spend money to go and he can't afford to take you. That might be a different issue altogether. One of whether or not he should have a say in how you spend your own money.
But as for spending your anniversary together, keep in mind that your anniversary is just an annual reminder to show each other how you feel. It's little more than a date on a calendar, the important part of it is how you two feel about each other. I think it wouldn't be out of the question to reschedule something one-on-one. Besides, wouldn't an anniversary be better spent one-on-one?
It is truly unfortunate that your anniversary fell on spring break. And judging from what you've said, the anniversary seems to hold more importance to you than to him. Know that this doesn't mean that the overall relationship is more important to you than to him. If your anniversary is so important that there may be resentment if he goes on the trip without you, I would tell him about how you feel before he leaves. Bottling it up could lead to a fight later on.
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