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To apologize or to not apologize
There this thing that have been bothering me for the past 5 years. You see, there's this person who I shall name O who was once was my 'friend', I say 'friend' because I'm not sure we were even friends.
Right now I'm in form 5 ( I think its equivalent to second last year of high school in the USA. ) student in Malaysia and this happen during form 1. O and I became friends when we were placed in the same class with someone from the same elementary school as us. She was extremely sarcastic and the only reason she put up with my freshman awkwardness because she hated the other person who is poor and knew about O immigrant background. She was tolerable with me through out the half year of school until sports month came.
Since I was competing an important match and needed moral support, I seek attention from her. The first time I went to her she was OK. The second day she gave me the silent treatment.
I was frustrated by her actions. I mean, why give me the silent treatment when I only seek comfort for only once from her? She didn't even tell me what I did wrongly to her.
What surprises me is that she gave me the Ghost treatment too. She acted that I was not there, she even dared to not pass a handout directly to me opting for putting at my claasmate seat. Heck, she never bother to talk,face, or interact with me during compulsory group work.
At first I though it was just a 13 year old phase and we'all become friends again. But it continued on for 5 years. I talked to her friends about that and they all told me that O has been gossiping and backstabbing me relentlessly, the reason? I was a fat ugly annoying whiny bitch who worth nothing in the world.
I admit I was annoying when I was 13 whatnot with entering puberty with my awkwardness. But I am 17 now, and I become more confident and yet she continues to give me both silent and ghost treatment. She even rolls her eyes and glared at me when I do something that garner the class attention.
I am still fat and ugly to this day but since this year will be our last year as high school students and taking our final examinations, I want to forget the past and renew our friendships. My friends say that I shouldn't start talking to her or even thinking about apologize.
Yet, I think im the at fault after all if it isn't for my whiny annoying personality in the past she wouldn't have do that. I am intimidated by her but I also respect her for being smart.
I heard somewhere that being treated like nobody or a ghost is the most cruelest hatred ever and I am the only person O treated with this kind of treatment.
I really want to reconcile with her, but I know she don't want to. With what her ego, snobbish, manipulative personality can damage me, I really don't know what to do.
Any advice and should I just go and apologize or not?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I'd just let it go. She's stuck in the past and can hold grudges, you'll meet more people like that in the future.
She was never even a friend. The difference is, you were annoying when you were 13, you grew up and matured, she never did.
So let it go and don't let her get to you. You don't need people like that in your life.
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If how your describing o is true she isn't your real friend if you had to go through sadness for 5 years then don't bother talking to o at all and make as many new friends as you can and try not to become independent because you will be lonely the rest of your life. But if you make a friend that treated you like o see if that friend is being bullied. If you see they don't answer then move on. Plan the present but focus on the future. PEACE!
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School is ending soon and for good? If so, I would personally just let it go and move on. Despite her good qualities, if she's stuck by a perception of you for 5 years without hearing you out, I doubt that perception will change with an apology. But if you really are suffering because she's seeing you in a way that isn't you, explain the kind of person you are. But keep in mind there's a good chance you can't change her mind about you.
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