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Like years have passed
Here's my situation.
'Danny' was my close friend I made during this school year. He's funny, good-looking, charming, and one who you could rely on. I had him as my schoolmate when I was in 1st Year and 2nd year but we weren't really close then. It was 3rd Year when he became my classmate and friend. Now here's the deal.
One day, my English teacher returned my "I am Number Four" book she borrowed, and eventually, Danny found it interesting and asked if he could borrow that book, too. Of course, I said yes, not wanting to selfishly deny his request. (But before he borrowed the book, we were already friends.)
After he read and finished the book, I gave it to him and gave him it's sequel, until I gave him the latest book, 'The Fall of Five.'
He wasn't finished with the last book when our school's 'Acquaintance Ball' squeezed through our schedule. After the Ball was our Christmas break, which was two weeks. During the Ball, everything was fine, everything was the way it was supposed to go. But everything cracked and shattered when we came back from the Christmas Break.
The few days were OK, but our time together shortened, little by little. He would only talked to me if he needed something. I knew he was finished with the book, and it was just everything we talked about. I never thought it could come to the point where that book would be the cause of all this. And also a girl.
He would also mention a girl, Isabel, maybe from his neighborhood, being the girl he likes. He would talk all about her with my best friend, 'Lydia', who supports him. Me, of course, being the nerdy friend, started to develop feelings for him, which I told nobody. And, obviously, my feelings all started because of that book. While trying to get over him, already accepting the fact that he doesn't like me the way he likes her, I just fell harder for him.
I just want the pain to stop. I don't care if he doesn't love me or whatsoever, I just want our daily conversations to come back. I want him to talk to me, nothing more than a long, regular conversation that would make up most of my day. He now treats me like an old friend like years have already passed, and I don't want our relationship to stay like that as my family and I are going to immigrate to Canada this April. (He knows about the Canada thing.)
Now, how do I revive our friendship and conversation like the times we had, the memorable ones, (Like a time when you both watched the same movie and talked about that for, let's say, an hour) without romantic confessions involved? I would want our relationship like to a brother-sister thing, without being the one at loss.
To be brief: How do I revive our 'talking time'?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I agree with Dragonflymagic. All you guys talk about is this book, it seems to be the only interest that could hope to keep you both talking. People who don't have a lot in common, aren't going to be talking all the time. I mean you'll have general conversations about life, but the rest of your interests just might not be the same.
Even if you guys do have other things in common, it's not going to make anything better for you. You said you want the pain to stop, but if you continue trying and hoping to talk to him, it's not going to stop it. If you do try to revive your regular conversations, you'll just fall harder and prolong the pain. That's not a smart move.
I think you need to do what's best for you and move on. You miss him, that's fine. You still like him and that's why you want it to be a brother-sister thing, but it won't be because you have feelings for him. So the best thing to do is clear your head and find a way to move on.
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Let me ask you this (you dont have to answer me tho) do you have girlfriends who became your girlfriends and stayed your friends when all you have in common is liking the same books and /or movies?
There are people who meet weekly in book clubs and talk out and hash over what they felt and think about a book and they do that for an hour or two. But liking similar books or movies is the only thing they have in common, otherwise, these people never see each other.
It is common for two people to meet over one shared interest, but if there aren't other interests in common, similar personalities, dreams, goals, hopes, beliefs, how one thinks, etc... then its not likely to develop into a close friendship whether its a female or a male. Some people in your daily life are going to be nothing more than friendly class mates you can interact with a little.
You describe yourself as a nerdy girl and I am guessing, you are more of an introvert, and quiet and shy, as far as your self image.
I am also guessing that deep down inside, whether you can admit it yet or not, you long to be dating someone very badly, so much that you pinned all your hopes on the first person who would pay some attention to you and hold extended conversations on one subject with you.
Would you truly be content with only conversations with him? Maybe if you didn't have such deep feelings,it would be enough, but after a certain point in time, just a few conversations without any return of the same feelings from him towards you as you feel for him, just won't cut it, you'll find yourself wanting more and hurting even worse than you do now because the interest is still only one sided.
You said, "I just want the pain to stop." But this tactic will not get rid of the pain you claim to want to see stop, it will only prolong it.
I tend to think there's more to how you are feeling than you are ready to admit to yourself. It's evident when you talk of your feelings, how you fell hard for him.
You've already noticed he doesn't have the same interest in you as he has in Isabel. And that must hurt. So thats where the pain comes from.
So when you say, "I would want our relationship like to a brother-sister thing", I must say, "Really girl?" Who are are you trying to kid? Don't bother telling us that. We can see through it. Is it possible you are lying to yourself, hoping you can convince yourself to get over the fact he has no interest in pursuing a dating relationship with you?
Sorry if that sounds harsh. I've been there in similar situations, and lied to myself. I wasn't able to move on in life until I stopped lying to myself as my choice of a pitiful attempt to deal with the reality of my situation.
So my advice, is to let it go, don't try to find ways to revive your talking times. Go through the grieving of the realisation that nothing will come of it and move on. Find a man who has a genuine interest in you. If you're in school, and you wish to marry someday, you have plenty of time to date and discover what you like in a guy. Take the next 10 years or so to date around and don't settle for the first one you shows interest in you just because you think no one else will. Gain some self confidence. There are men who as they grow a bit older, discover that going after the model type beauty isn't to their liking cus they find nothing of substance to her character, she may be shallow, and they have more interest in the 'nerdy type' who have their own brand of natural beauty. There will always be men who find you attractive. You just have to believe that. If you don't, the vibes you send off will keep most males from wanting to get anywhere near you.
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