|
Best friend interfering with my relationship
I am an 18 year old female, I have been very close to my best friend for years. We have been like sisters and we know everything about each other. I have not for seen this as a problem until recently when I started dating a guy who is a mutual friend of ours we will call sam. Soon after my best friend started dating sam's best friend we will call matt. This didn't seem to be much of a problem until she started to interfere in mine and sam's relationship and getting upset with me when I was spending time with him or when I couldn't talk to her because sam and i were on the phone. She has recently told me that sam and I are getting to close and need to back off, while her and matt are allowed to do whatever and on the rare occasions I say anything I am told to butt out. Before dating sam I did not have much of a social life, as a result she was able to call me whenever. I would like her to stay out of mine and sam's relationship, I understand that she is just worried however I am also starting to wonder if its not just that she doesn't like the change that she can no longer just call me or ask me to do something that I might be busy.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I actually am/just went through something like this. I started dating my boyfriend a few months ago and my close friend kind of started getting upset way to often and trying to make me feel guilty so I'd pay attention to her. my best friend pointed out its probably because I've gotten really close to my boyfriend and my friend isn't the person i spend all of my time with anymore.
You just need to tell her what she's doing isn't cool and that she needs to stop interfering, especially if she'll get all defensive when you ask about her relationship.
I hope this helped, Good Luck :)
]
You just need to sit down and talk to her. You don't have to be mean or anything but just tell her that you guys have boundaries now that you're in a relationship and she needs to respect it and not try to get involved in telling you what you can and can't do in your relationship. Don't argue with her though if she tries to start something up. Just listen to what she has to say, say you understand but this is how it has to be.
I mean no doubt friendships aren't the same when someone gets into a relationship. That person wants to spend more time talking to them and hanging out with them and that's fine. As long as you still have some time for your friends then you're fine and you seem to have it all okay.
]
You need to sit down with your friend and tell her that if your friendship is going to continue then she must learn to respect your relationship. Friendships have boundaries, When it comes to relationships and personal life that is where it draws the line.
I have in the past had my fair share of mistakes, I have also stated my opinions on relationships. You know where it got me? I lost a friend I have known for 13 years.
I am now in my late 20's, I have just a few years ago learned what a true friendship is. A friendship is about you and that person, Not your personal life. It is none of her business what you do with your boyfriend and it is none of yours what she does with hers. I have a best friend and we have an awesome relationship but when it comes to her relationship, I do not get involved. I don't discuss my marriage, She don't discuss her relationship period. This is where the line is drawn, If your friend can't learn to accept that then she is going to need to find a new friend.
]
More Questions: |