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I sent my step dad to prison
About 10 years ago (for a few years) my step dad used to touch me in all the wrong places and he told me to not tell my mum, so until a few months ago I was still scared to say anything but then one night I just came out with it and explained everything to my mum, she was angry but not at me but at herself for letting it happen. Since iv told her everything I was worried about happening has happened, my younger brother and sister arnt allowed to see their dad, I feel so bad about this because I wish my dad made the effort and iv taken away their father who loved them, I was worried for my little sister and didn't feel so bad after the police revealed he still had child porn on the computer.
But I didn't want to take it to the police because I knew it would turn out like this... My relationship with my mum, my brother and my sister is completely changing, mostly with my mum, we argue a lot more and I feel like he has put this divide between us, iv talked to her about it and we sort everything but after a few weeks it gets bad again.
Me and my brother had a fight a while back triggered by nothing really but it turned into a proper fight and he started becoming his dad and I went crazy and took all my anger out on him, I felt so bad, but every now and then he almost becomes his dad(my step dad) and it scares me for his future and what could happen to him.
I just feel guilty more than anything, I'd kept it to myself this whole time so why did I have to bring it to attention now? Did I do it for attention, did I ruin peoples lives just for attention? I don't know how to stop it effecting my family life? It also took a lot for my boyfriend to get through it but he has been my solid rock this whole time, I know he's had his doubts and down days about it but he's there for me whenever I get low or me and mum have another argument, could do with some advise or just someone who knows what they are talking about to help me out... what's wrong with me, iv ruined everything.
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The people who are wrong her are your siblings and step siblings and possibly your mom. Your siblings and step siblings are wrong for being upset with you fro they should realize what your step-dad did to you was wrong and illegal. In legal term it is called sexual abuse and child abuse. If you had not spoken up when you did imagine what he would have done with your little sister. You have saved her from the pain and suffering you have gone through. If she is old enough to understand you might explain this to her.
As for your older brother. If as you say he is becoming your father; then you need to be careful around him. No one including him has the right to touch when you do not wish to be touched or to touch you in places that should not be touched without your permission.
A parent can touch you in order to discipline you. Still where and how they touch you is confined to proper discipline. They cannot touch you in private places with the exception of your butt for a proper spanking. Meaning a hand spanking only to your butt. Anything else is child abuse and if the touch you anywhere else in disciplining you it could be sexual abuse.
As for your mom. I might be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt here. She is probably feeling bad that by marrying this man she subjected you to this abuse. As a parent I can tell you this is something very hard for a parent to deal with. Our job as a parent is to keep our children safe. She must feel she failed at this when because of the man she married you have been harmed.
She has stopped the harm by seeing to it he has been placed where he belongs, in prison. What she cannot do is undo the harm done to you. IF I was in her place I would feel very bad and hurt that I cannot undo the harm. I do not know and can't say I would handle it as she has though I could understand it if this is the reason for the unrest between you.
My suggestion for all of you is family counseling. For you the reason is to help you deal with what has happened to you in a manner that will help you get past this and live a normal life so later in life when you meet a man he can touch you without you reacting badly.
For your siblings so they can deal properly with what has happened to their dad. To understand you are not the bad person; he is. Having a person such as a psychologist talk with them he or she can present this to them in a manner they will understand better.
For you mom, to help her understand that she is not a bad person and neither are you. That child molesters come in all shapes and sizes. There is no way she could have known before marrying him that this was going to happen. By talking with a psychologist she will have someone she can talk freely to and get things off her chest. Like you she will be able with the psychologists help, put this all in the proper prospective.
If you don't have health insurance and are not going to get health insurance under The affordable healthcare act, then call your Police or prosecutors office and speak with the Victims Assistance Office. Most cities or Counties have Victim Assistance Offices who can help with this.
Most importantly and above all else is for you to remember you are the victim. You did nothing wrong.
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You ruined nothing, Anyone who touches someone unwillingly or inappropriately should be in jail.
What your step dad did was sexual assault, It was wrong.
You did the right thing by reporting it, You saved people the possibly of living with a lifetime of misery and a nightmare that would forever impel them in negative ways.
Sometimes when someone who is a sexual predator gets sent to jail when they have children of their own, Of course we feel guilty in some way. However in the end, You did right.
Do not blame yourself for your step dads actions, You had no control of it. This man decided to ruin his own life as nobody did it for him. You did nothing wrong, You were indeed a victim. Don't ever let someone make you feel guilty. The only one who is, Is right where he should be.
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