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I Love You Problems
Me and my boyfriend just got together today, and we met on Facebook. We barely know each other, well some what, but anyways, he told me "I love you" and it hasn't been a day yet, so what do I do?
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You might want to clarify what he meant by "I love you". I guess some people can mean it in different ways. I had a past boyfriend who said "I love you" two weeks into our relationship and he meant it in the "I'm in love with you" type of way. That freaked me out and was way too early in the relationship to say that.
If he meant it that he loves you like he's in love with you, explain that it's only been a day and you're not comfortable with that yet, you're moving too fast, ect.
I mean there are guys you'll meet who are genuinely good guys who just say things in the wrong timing. But there are also guys who tell a girl they love them too early just to get in their pants or they'll say it because they're lonely and don't really mean it but just wants that kind of attention from a girl.
So be careful, explain you're not comfortable with that and you guys still need to get to know each other better.
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You will have to follow your gut instinct. If your inner voice is saying to bolt and run, do so. If you have enough interest in him to stay longer and discover more about him first before deciding if he's a keeper or not, then you need to study him closely and look for any warning signs that you should dump him.
I have read many articles about warning signs if a guy says 'I love you' too early and of all the points have i found, none were in one article and a few points were missing.
So I will list what i can remember.
A guy may say I love you when in fact its the wrong word to use, he is trying to say he is very attracted to you and likes you a lot. I am a very articulate person with great intelligence and good communication skills. If I heard this, it would at least tell me the guy speaks before he thinks, that he is led more by his emotions than by wisdom, knowledge, experience, intuition. It could be okay but there are negative emotions too like anger. If he's so quick to love, he may be quick to anger too and not have a good understanding or control of his emotions.
A guy could simply be saying I love you because thats what he for some odd reason thinks thats what a girl wants to hear. He is someone who likely is very naive, inexperienced in the world, and has definitely not taken time to study the do's and don't of dating and relationships. This would mean the words he spoke, he doesnt necessarily mean. This could go several ways. Perhaps he is trying to compensate for what he feels he lacks in personality, his self image or his self esteem may be an issue so he hopes to impress you and reel you in with these words early on.
A guy could say I love you to get into your pants. This comes out in mind games and usually they prey on girls they think may have low self esteem (whether its true or not) and therefore tend to need a guy to feel good about themselves. If you love me, you'll have sex with me, is a common phrase used by guys who are basically "users". While it is important to have a chemistry, that sexual spark, the guy who just wants sex isn't going to spend anything time wanting to know the you inside, personality, hopes dreams, fears, goals, beliefs, etc. because he isn't looking for his best friend with whom he can have a loving and fulfilling relationship with. A guy like this, will be looking to gratify himself, not thinking about you.
A guy might use the phrase "I love you" early on to see if they can easily manipulate and control you. If the female feels compelled to say the same thing back just because it feels awkward not to say it or something like it, then he has just successfully manipulated her into doing something using her emotions and feelings. Watch for any other manipulative, controlling behavior from the guy.
A guy can say I love you early if he is a needy sort and is looking for any girl who will take him on in a relationship and be his mommy, maid, and free sex if no one else is available. This type has never learned to grow up and shoulder adult responsibilities and wants to be taken care of all his life. It can be obvious like the female bringing home the paycheck while he sits at home, or it can be more subtle.
If you see evidence of any of the above behaviors from him, he is not the kind of guy to be in a relationship with.
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"I love you"
That can take on many meanings, but it's something that can have a lot of gravity to it. By that, I mean you can run into a lot of trouble if you say it when you don't mean it.
If you have reservations about saying it back, then I wouldn't. I would just say how much you appreciate hearing it. It's one of those things where you know it when you feel it and if there are doubts, you probably aren't in love.
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