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A kid to beat up..
Hi 13/m..
So im at an international school and there is this kid my age that really gets on my nerves..he insults me and my friends..we already told the principal he got suspended once or twice, we also insult him back this year cause we dont have anything else to do..he has no friends which is probably the cause..he insulted on of my close friends yesterday and she felt very bad..I feel like beating him up but i dont want to get expelled, suspension for me is fine but not an expulsion!
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Fighting solves nothing and gets both of your the type of attention you don't want. Today anything that starts in school stays in school. Meaning even if you were to go after this boy off school property, because the problem you are retaliating against started in school you can expect to be punished in school for.
Also suspensions and expulsions do not look good and college transcripts. You may be going to an International School though the college transcript information would not differ from any other school. Colleges do not like trouble makers. Suspensions for fighting, especially in high school, are big red flags to them. so saying you won't mind a suspension is something you should rethink as it could keep you out of the College or University of your choice.
The better things to do is ignore him. He is looking for attention. If you give it to him you are satisfying his need and desire for attention. Even if you were to beat him up I some weird way you would still satisfy that need.
You can as I said ignore him, this includes telling teachers and the principal of his insults, as this also satisfies his need for attention. One other thing you can do to stop his insults is to try and make friends with him. I know this would be hard for you to do but it would be the grown up thing to do.
I'm sure that since he is friendless he is also lonely. Think about how you would feel going all day through school without anyone to talk to while changing classes or anyone to have lunch with every day of the school year. It is not only lonely but it must be hard for him to sit there day in and day out and watch everyone else having fun while he sits there by himself.
No one says you have to be anything more than a school buddy to him. One thing for sure is that you will learn more about him and you just might find out he is a very interesting person. He just maybe someone you and your other friends may want to include in after school activities.
one thing for sure is if you make friends with him he will stop calling you names.
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He has no friends and he insults you for attention.
It's literally like a child who hits a girl he likes to get attention from her in a negative way because he has no idea how to do it in a positive way.
You don't have to beat him up. Instead you just talk with your friends and explain what he is doing and why. He is seeking their attention and seeking to affect others because he has no other ideas about how to get one and do the other.
If you give him no attention and don't affect you one of two things will happen.
a) He gets worse and gets himself in repeated trouble and eventually gets expelled
b) He leaves you alone and goes and looks for another target.
The other thing that you can do is confront him with the truth. Have everyone be prepared to address him without anger or even mockery, to just confront him with the reality of his actions.
"We know you're just trying to get attention. We don't want to give you any, because you're being a jerk. Go away" and then ignore him. If he insults you, leave if you can. If you can't leave, bring it to a teacher. If he follows you, bring it to a teacher.
If you try this once and he keeps coming, next step is to actively tell an admin what he's doing and your response. That you have told him politely to leave you alone and called him out on trying to get attention and that he won't stop and that you will keep coming as long as they allow this to be a problem. If you respectfully express to a teacher or principal or whatever that this is a recurring problem and that you will be coming to see them every time he bothers you until they solve the problem, they will take more direct action.
See, administrators are the same everywhere. If you make it your problem, they might well leave you to deal with it. If you make it their continuing problem, they will have motivation to address it more directly so that they can stop having it be their problem.
Make sure all your friends are prepared to meet him with a united front. The same responses, calling him out and then ignoring him completely.
Bullies are cowards. When they see you aren't going to change, back down, or let them affect you, they run. If he doesn't run it's because he thinks he can get away with being aggressive. Don't let him be aggressive. Don't let him follow you around, don't let him trap you.
Through understanding of any situation you can gain power over it. When he insults someone, if they understand he's only doing it because he is a sad, lonely person, it doesn't hurt. He wants attention and he is manipulating you into giving it to him by becoming your problem. Show him that he isn't a problem and you remove his power. Show your friends that all he wants is attention and that he really is just a sad lonely person lashing out because he's too stupid to learn to get along, and instead of being hurt by him they'll just see him for the sad, lonely person that he is. It's hard to feel bad about the things someone says when you think that person is sad or pathetic.
Don't beat him up. That will just make him angry and convinced that he can still get attention. It will make him worse, and it invites similar retaliation. You beat him up, what if he is willing to do the same but he corners other friends of yours instead of you? What if he gets a girl alone and threatens her?
Ignoring him will hurt him more than your fists will. Showing him he is powerless to affect you and that he cannot make you think anything about him other than that he is sad and not worth your time will hurt him.
And at that point, you haven't done a damn thing wrong. You haven't done anything you are not perfectly within your rights as a person to do. You get to be the better people, while still working to deal with his bullshit.
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Like Zane said, beating him up isn't going to do anything at all but get you expelled.
I'd also have to agree that you might want to try being nice. If that doesn't work, then you are just going to have to ignore him. You can also keep telling the principal and he'll keep getting expelled and hopefully by then he'll be sick of getting suspended so many times.
Insulting him won't do anything either. It just makes you just as bad as him and it'll probably make him want to do it more.
You're going to meet people like this throughout your life. You're really going to dislike them but you can't do the same thing back because it's not the mature thing to do and just makes you just as childish as they are.
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Beating someone to the pulp isn't going to solve shit.
It's a known fact that people that bully either A, Have some self esteem issues or have some troubles at home and they don't know how else to deal with these troubles. Believe it or not, Have you ever tried going up to the kid and being really nice? I know it seems like an impossible thing to do but sometimes when someone acts poorly, That's exactly what they need. The kid doesn't expect a reaction of kindness and may even catch him completely off guard. Many people even with a mean side have a guilty conscience. If the kid sees that people are actually kind to him, He may begin to realize what an ass he is acting and have a change of heart.
Not to mention it, I used to bully people around in high school.
There was this one kid who was the biggest nerd and I used to crack a whole lot of shit until one day she came up to me and asked me why I pick on her. This girl explained to me that she doesn't hate me and that she has enough problems with her family going through a divorce and how she just wants to be left alone. Well, Surprisingly it made me feel really shitty and realized that I was the one with the stick up my ass and not everyone else. From there on out, I never bullied again.
Trust me, Reverse physiology can really catch people by suprise
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