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Mom pressuring me into not eating
I'm a 13 year old girl and I am not self conscious about my weight.... I weigh 50 kg for a 13 year old, is don't know of that's good or bad and frankly I don't care. But my mom tells me off for being so fat, and she has for years... Lately its been getting to me and eat a considerably less amount than normal but we keeps saying it. My friend noticed and asked why, and that's when I realized that the only reason I reacted is because I am adopted and I felt that my mom choose me to be perfect, and I'm not showing her Enough gratitude and changing myself when I'm So obviously letting her down. My friend says its wrong, but I don't know how I approach either if them about it. Is what I'm feeling right? Can my mom even love me even though I'm not her real daughter? If she does why does she say what she does and hit me for it? I would be so grateful for any help....
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The fact that you gave your weight in Kilos tells me you do not live in the USA. Because of this and the fact you do not say where you live I cannot be certain of the laws in your country. Your English is very good which allows me to believe that the child protection laws are similar to ours. Because I believe this I will give you the following advice.
What mom is doing, by trying to withhold food and harassing you about your weight. Can and may very well be considered child abuse.
The fact that you were adopted has nothing to do with anything. When your parents adopted you they signed a contract to raise you according to the laws of your country and treat you as their own child. If you owe them anything it is nothing more than any other child may feel they owe their parents for raising them and caring for them, nothing more or nothing less just because you were adopted.
What I suggest is you talk with a trusted adult. One of your teachers at school or the principal. If the laws are as I believe they are they will have specific guidelines to follow in an instance like this to help you.
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When I was your age, my dad would make jokes about my weight. He didn't know that I was so hurt by them.
What your mom is doing is wrong. Your mom should and can still love you even if you aren't her real daughter.
You said your mother hits you. You need to tell another adult about that. You should talk to a teacher, a counselor, any other adult that you trust. You shouldn't have to live with someone who abuses you and I think that's a very, very real and serious problem and it's needs to stop.
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I understand your frustration. My mom started to do the same thing to me at about your age. I know now that she was reflecting her own insecurities and problems onto me. So just realize that your mom is probably not dealing with her own problems and is taking them out on you. Of course this is wrong but everyone deals with things differently. Your mom does love you and does care but some people just don't know how to show it except through tough love. have you tried talking to her and telling her that her comments are really starting to hurt you and you feel like she doesn't love you when she says those things? Maybe if she heard you tell her that she might start to think about how what she's doing is affecting you. If you already have and she's still doing it then I would just confide in your friend because its nice to have someone that understands or is empathetic. It's hard because you can't change people but you can change the way you react...stay strong and try not to take it personally. I know its hard bc its ur mom but she shouldn't be making u feel bad about ur weight so young..you're still growing and going thru changes so dont worry yourself about that.
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Sweetie, I deal with my mother doing things like this as well, except mine is about my anxiety and depression. Don't let it get to you! You are your own person, and it doesn't matter, what anyone, even your mom says about you. Your friend is right, it isn't right. Maybe you should try and talk to your Kim about it. As impossible as that may seem, you should still try. If you would like to discuss anything further, you Ardmore than welcome to e-mail me at destiny.mcrae@aol.com . I'm available basically all the time. Good luck sweetie, keep your head up.
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