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How do I talk to my dad about dating?
I wanna talk to my dad about dating but don't know how to and convince him in meeting my guy friend . What should I do ? I am a junior
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Moms may be a little more sympathetic when it comes time to ask for permission to date. Though if dad is the one who has final say on when you can date this gets a bit tricky. One thing you do not want to do is compare yourself to an older brother if you have one. It is unfair but dads do not treat their daughters as they do their sons. You see sons grow up to be men but daughter will always be daddy's little girls when when they are all grown up and have children of their own.
Every dad dreads the day our daughter will come to us for permission to date. The only thing we dread more than that is the day some boy turns up on our door step and asks permission to marry our daughter. It is not that we don't trust you; if we have done our jobs right as parents then we do trust you. What you have to remember is that every dad was once a teenage boy and we remember what we were like at that age. This is what you are contending with.
In what you have asked us I would suggest you use an old salesman trick. Instead of asking dad if he will meet this young man say to dad. "Dad I have a guy friend I would like you to meet would Saturday afternoon be good or is Sunday afternoon better." You are giving him a choice but not the ability to say no specifically all though he could say no to both in which case you give him two other dates to chose from.
If dad is like me and most other people I have dealt with he will give in and pick a date to meet this boy. Once he has met him and sees the boy is not the devil and is not out to harm his daughter. Then you ask dad if it is okay to date him.
If I were your dad I would be impressed that you did not try to hide something from me. hat you brought the boy home to meet me before you tried to date him. These would be major points in your favor. Keep this in mind when ever you date a new boy; bring him home to meet dad first.
I would most likely give you permission to date with certain restrictions such as a curfew. Make sure that you are home at least 5 minutes ahead of curfew. Most everyone today has a cell phone. Make sure it is fully charged before you leave on your date and it is in your purse. If for some reason it is not possible to be home before your curfew; you call dad and tell him.
There are many reasons why you could miss your curfew. The one reason you do not want to use is; "I lost track of the time." This would be seen as irresponsible and would hurt you in dads eyes. So be responsible and call dad if your going to be late even if you think your going to be late.
One other thing, something I told by son and my nieces. If ever you get in a situation you don't want to be in or your afraid of; Call me I will come and get you no matter where you are. You will not be in trouble for calling me and this includes not getting in a car with someone who has been drinking. You are too young to be drinking and could be in trouble with the police just for being with under age people who are. I told them they would not be in trouble with me. That advice still stands to day and they are all in there thirties. If they need a safe ride they are to call me.
I believe if you do as I have written your father will allow you to date and as his trust grows in your judgment. He will lift what ever restrictions he places on you to begin with.
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I think I'd start off with asking him for advice about dating. Like tell him that you're interested in dating and you want him to be involved and want advice. Then you could eventually lead into this boy you are interested in, who I'm assuming is your guy friend, and see if your dad would be cool with meeting him and letting you know if he thinks he's a good guy, ect.
Dads just don't want you to get used and he absolutely doesn't want you to be having sex and there are lots of guys out there who will do that to girls and your dad just doesn't want that happening to you. So that's why it's good to keep him involved and make him feel like he still has some control in a crazy situation of his daughter dating.
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I suppose you don't have a mom or live with her? Its always easier to feel comfortable talking to a female.
But if it must be dad, remember, he's a guy who remembers what he and his friends were like at that age and thats about the biggest concern he will have is how a guy will treat you. Is he really interested in you or just sex. When it comes to fathers, that is one of their biggest concerns and the other would be his personality. Does he have a mean streak, does he have a temper, would he abuse you verbally or beat on you or take you down a path of drinking and drugs?
So first of all, would your guy friend be comfortable hanging out at your house often like your girlfriends do?
This is the best way for Dad to get to observe your guy friend and get to know him and feel comfortable with him. This is a good step to take before the dating where you both go off somewhere on your own to a movie or something.
You know your dad best, maybe he would be okay with you starting to date, and just need to meet the guy one time.
Have you and Dad ever had a conversation about at what age you would be allowed to date? If not, it's time to ask to have that conversation. Ask Dad if you and he could have a talk about boyfriends and dating. Let him know the reason you want to have a talk is because you have a friend at school who is a guy and you really like him and the two of you woould like to spend more time hanging out together. So does he have any idea about what ground rules he feels are important as you start the dating realm. You both will need to agree on the rules or compromise as needed. If he for example says he doesnt feel comfortable with you doing any serious dating yet, then ask him how you are supposed to learn how a guy thinks, and how to understand him better and those kinds of things, if you dont get to spend time with him. Ask if it would be okay if he was welcome to hang out at your house while dad was there to be sure you are safe and also to get to know the guy.
Your dad may be able to see some things that you do not see about a dangerous character flaw. Let him know you value his opinion of what any guy is like so that you will have a boyfriend who treats you well.
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