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Craving love?
Hi, im 15/f
I have never had a boyfriend, kissed anyone, or done anything. I'm a normal sophomore girl I just haven't wanted a boyfriend until now and it's getting crazy. I feel like it's my hormones because I get weird feelings.. But now most of the day I'm daydreaming of having a boyfriend and kissing, snuggling and all that. i also don't find blow jobs gross like I would give one to him after a while. But I do find sex terrifying and I wouldn't have that though. No guy has come into my life yet, and i just want him to already.
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Yeah that's hormones.
Once you really get into puberty, your sex drive starts actually going. The bad part about this is that during puberty, your sex drive is subject to random hormone spikes. You're just going about your day, and then something sets you off and you can't think of anything else.
The good news on that front is that eventually the spikes even out. You'll still have a sex drive, maybe it'll still be intense, but it'll be intense in fairly predictable ways. Plus, the longer you spend dealing with it the more you get used to managing it.
Nothing wrong with not finding blowjobs gross, in fact once you are sexually active your complete lack of aversion to the idea will be a plus in any sexual relationship. Sex won't be scary once you've had it.
At some point you'll find a guy. I suggest finding a long term relationship. Make him wait a while for sexual activity, even if it's difficult on your end. Teenaged guys are notorious for just wanting sex because they're too stupid and insecure to manage anything remotely mature and stable emotionally. You gotta pick one out of the group who can be respectful and let sex happen on your schedule without issuing ultimatums. Any guy who tries "if you love me you will" or any kind of "if you do this I'll love you forever" or some shit isn't worth your time.
Be assertive. There's nothing wrong with getting angry at a guy who pressures you about sex. Nothing wrong with you telling a guy "you're being a douchebag, and if you don't grow the fuck up and treat me with respect as a person with every right to figure sex out on my own timetable you can walk right out the door" or something similar.
Also, masturbate. Feel free to look at porn. Whether your parents or anyone else thinks it's ok or not. There are plenty of ways to hide it if it wouldn't be ok in your house. If you have your own computer, get firefox and google private browsing. Masturbation will help with the urges, it's easier to stay sane if you're having regular orgasms of your own, plus it helps you get to know your own body so that someday you can help someone else get to know it later.
Last, a word for the future. The whole "I don't think that's gross at all" thing is a great way to be. When you have sex, it can be sweaty and messy. Women get wet, guys have precum and cum, and there's nothing wrong with any of it. It's all just a natural part of what's going on.
Not being grossed out by any of it means you'll have fewer hangups when you get to sexual activity, which means sex will be more fun for you than it ever can be for people who have issues with "that's gross!"
For some people, the mess is part of the fun. If you don't need a shower after sex, you did something wrong.
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You're completely normal. It's ten times harder when you see couples your age snuggling and holding hands and you wish you had that.
But seriously, if you want a good relationships, get to know guys. Don't rush it like half the high school does. Become friends with a guy, get to know him, see if you're interested and go from there. It takes time to find a good guy and you don't want to get into a bad relationship.
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I never had a boyfriend in high school and other than not attending any dances or prom, I don't feel I missed out on anything. After high school, I met someone and got married at 20.
Statistics say that in the early teens dating never lasts beyond 5-6 months at the longest anyways.
Your hormones are responsible for how you are feeling. As was suggested, get comfortable with your own sexuality.
Your sexual debut is a series of events that certainly need not start with finding a guy for sex. Its not about losing anything, certainly not virginity, its about gaining through self sexual discovery. Sex with a guy ,that should be the final step, not the first. Get familiar with yourself, what you look like down there, self teach: touch yourself, starting viewing instructional videos on how females organs work and how they achieve orgasm. most schools have no sex education classes or do not teach enough to really be helpful now-a-days. I have a couple videos I love to share that are helpful. Theres also a you tube channel Sex+ by Laci Greene, she's college age, has worked with planned parenthood in producing videos and now has her own place with instructional short videos on anything and everything about sexuality, sex positive ideas, and dating and relationships. I highly recommend subscribing and watching her videos. Heck, I even learned something about new products on the market for periods from her.
Remember, this is a process of many little steps taken over time. However studying right now is one of the best ways to invest your time and learning of ways to self pleasure.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Laci Green You tube link:
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First of all, its getting to be winter and this is when we all start to feel awfully lonely ;) It's cold outside and a partner to snuggle with and kiss is a very warming thought. The "weird feelings" you are talking about are probably you being horny. I might get in trouble for recommending this, but try exploring your body a little bit. You might be able to relieve some of the sexual tension.
Modern society has made it unorthodox to be a virgin at your age, on top of not ever having a boyfriend. The fact of that matter is, IT IS OKAY. Every young lady is different and no one's "first time" is the same as the next person's. Everyone will find someone when the time is right; start looking now. Once in a relationship, every relationship is different. Everybody goes through the bases at their own pace. And if the guy really likes you, he WILL wait for you to be ready to give yourself to him. As far as that goes, use a condom and wait until you are truly ready. And (I've heard guys spread around this theory) you definitely can get pregnant your first time having sex. Most important, BE PATIENT! Don't let anyone pressure you into thinking you HAVE to have a boyfriend. I hope any or all of this advice helped you, and I wish you luck.
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