I find this a very interesting topic, because most people willing to thrust their opinion down my through has never even tried it.
I'm a very level guy, totally willing and able to understand most of what people to to each other, but once in a while, and it take persistence and perseverance, someone gets just a little bit too close too... doing what ever they want and when ever they want it.
I do not intent to ruin their lives, but I intend to show them who precisely they are dealing with.
Why is everybody telling me NO.
They say it always backfires, it's wrong, the wheel is round...
The people saying that never seems like the type to stand up for themselves or try to get back, or even stand up for themselves.
When have you taken revenge, when has it not felt good, and when has it back fired?
There is a saying that two wrongs don't make a right. Sometimes when it comes to certain circumstances we need to be the bigger person and let things go.
I am going to flat out admit something that I don't admit to very many people, I love to seek revenge on people who deserve it and man to I love to see karma slap people twice as hard in the face.
However, Sometimes revenge just takes too much energy and life is too short to sit on a rotted log. Sure, It feels good as hell to watch someone get what they had coming. I am sure not one to have a guilty side but I have learned over the years that certain things I have done too people, I really do have a soft side I never knew existed.
Sometimes the best revenge we can give someone is the silent treatment. While we get the last laugh, They sit wondering with a head full of questions that are left unanswered.
I have always been the one to cause a butt load of drama in my life but after slamming so many people, You begin to realize that there is no point anymore and it all begins to get tiring after awhile.
Where has revenge gotten me? Nowhere. To be honest with you, I am very tired of revenge and drama. Once you cause it, Depending on how bad the problem was, It's impossible to get rid of it.
Anyway, There is good way and a wrong way of handling situations. Sometimes walking away and laughing it off IS what really pisses someone off. Fighting and seeking revenge, Just not worth the time and energy. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
adviceman49 answered Tuesday November 26 2013, 10:44 am: There is a right way and a wrong way to seek revenge. I have no idea how you were wronged and why you are seeking revenge though I can tell from what you have written you are going the wrong way in seeking revenge.
Yes, you will feel very good when the tables are turned on the one or ones who have wronged you. How will you feel when that person or those people seek to turn the table once again against you. It is the beginning of a cycle that ends with someone seriously hurt or even dead. Don't say that won't happen for it does. As a first responder I have responded too many times to just such scenarios.
The right way to seek revenge is to go to the proper authorities and report what has happened. Not knowing just what happened to you; it can be anything from harassing you, hitting you to destroying property of yours. The proper thing to do is to report the wrong.
Depending on the who, what, when and where the wrong happened depends on who your report it to. The proper authorities to report things to are your parents, the school authorities, meaning a teacher or principal or the Police. You are not being a wimp or any other thing you want to call it by going to the proper authority to seek your revenge. Seeking your own revenge by doing to them what they have done to you or worse makes you as culpable as them.
By reporting what they have done and to what degree they have harmed you. Sets in motion the amount of punishment they will receive and from who. If they have harmed you to the point they have broken a law then they must deal with the justice system. If they are juveniles, which I believe them to be, then their parents have to come up with money for lawyers and anything else the court decides they need to do in the way of restitution. If it is something that happened at school, than their parents will have to take time off from work to came to school.
I have been in the position of being summoned to school for a parent meeting. Fortunately it was not my child who was in trouble. I was there for a arbitration meeting between the two boys. The father of the other child said he couldn't control his son. The boy said he was not afraid of the cops. I told the kid he better be afraid of me for if he touched my son again it would not be jail for him but Boys Town. Unfortunately I never got to carry through out that threat for he was arrested a few weeks later for attempted murder of a teacher. He put something in the teachers drink as a prank. The prank backfired on him for what he put in the teachers drink could have killed the teacher.
Why have I related this story to you. The kid did this to the teacher out of revenge against teacher who was kicking him out of the shop class that started with him hitting my son. The actions of this teacher would mean he would be expelled. The expulsion would mean a violation of his parole and he would be going to jail.
This is a true story and is all the result of the escalation of revenge. This kid was 18 at the time. He will be 33 before he can be released from jail at the earliest. It is stories like this one as to why you do not take revenge into your own hands. You follow the rules of society and let the proper authorities get your revenge for you. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
lightoftruth answered Monday November 25 2013, 6:53 pm: I completely agree with Rahzie.
Standing up for yourself isn't about trying to get revenge on someone else. That's childish stuff.
There are other ways to stand up for yourself rather than trying to get revenge for something.
I've also had my share of times trying to get revenge on someone. I'd rather not share details but even though it hurt them, it ended up hurting me too. The fact is, you don't want to go around hurting people and getting revenge on people.
Even if you've never tried to get revenge. You'll see people in your life who has and you'll laugh at them about it. In my opinion, it looks childish. It looks like you don't know how to actually deal with problems. [ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question ]
Razhie answered Monday November 25 2013, 6:17 pm: The few times I've engaged in petty acts of revenge, it's never felt good for more than a few minutes. Maybe the first time I tell a friend about it I get a laugh, but usually not even that. Most people don't like to listen to someone else brag about having been cruel or vindictive. I've usually come out looking like the bad guy, and I've always regretted it. Every single time.
I'm not going to go into details, because as much as you don't like to hear it, the details don't matter at all. Everything you've been told is true.
Motivation is key. The moment you are motivated by revenge, you are on the path to looking like a fool, feeling like a loser.
There is nothing good about deliberate cruelty, not even if you think they deserve it. I don't believe in karma or any such spiritual nonsense, but I know being nasty comes back at us in ways we can't imagine. There is no 'getting back' at someone. There is the choice to put more badness, anger and hurt into the world, or less.
If you choose to put more badness, anger and hurt into the world, you'll feel bad about it in the end. Unless you are a crazy person.
Standing up for yourself has nothing to do with exacting revenge. Anyone who thinks the only way you can stand up for themselves is by attacking someone else, is a complete moron. If you can't find a solution to a problem, besides revenge, than you aren't actually solving any problems, you are just inventing different ones. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
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