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My love life is a mess and I'm completely confused with it. Help?
13/f (Ik Im young, but I have been through a lot for a 13 year old. This is just a part)
So over the summer me and my crush had a summer romance, we dated for about 2 and a half months then since we didn't go to the same school he broke up with me just saying we should take a break and that it might be the biggest mistake he has ever made. So then about 2 weeks later one of my guy friends asked me out and I said yes but I couldn't help feeling like he deserved better because I was still heartbroken over my ex. So I told my bf about this and he understood where I was coming from so we broke up. And about a month after that I was doing pretty good. But one day I was helping my friend after a breakup and I was trying to help him get over his ex and I kept mentioning my lost love (ex 1) like I got over him u can get over her.. Well.. I realize Im not over him and I miss him a lot. My heart is still in ashes and I don't know how to fix it and I dont want to talk to him about it because Im afraid he doesn't feel the same way even though he told me it might be the biggest mistake ever. I want to be someone's special someone- some of my friends are in there first relationship and it is already like 7 months and I wish it worked out so well with me. I just want to be in his arms and be together with him. He was my first kiss and the first one I said I love you too so he is super special to me. What do I do? Could he still like me? Should I talk to him? Any advice in general about how to get my life together?
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It was this summer you two were together?
You're not giving yourself any time to move on. Two weeks after he broke up with you, you jumped to another guy.
You shouldn't try to talk to this guy. Whether or not he regrets breaking up with you and sees it as a mistake, he did break up with you and if he missed you, he'd tell you.
Other than that, you need to be strong.
Each person you date and you love will always hurt once you guys break up. No matter what the situation is, if you loved them, it will hurt.
You have so many more years ahead of you to find the right guy. First loves aren't always true loves.
Right now, dating is a learning experience for you. You need to give yourself time to move on. Wait until you are over this guy to start dating again. I know you want someone special but you won't be happy until you're over him. Once you are over him, and feel ready to date, then go for it. But don't date anyone right now because you won't be happy and it won't be fair to the next guy.
Remember the qualities you loved about him, look for them in other guys. Don't be the girl that runs back to a guy who dumped her because she misses him and is lonely. Everybody gets lonely, but you need time.
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The first one is always the hardest.
I know you don't want to hear this right now, but you need to let him go. Your both still young, you don't know what you want just yet, especially him, but guys are always like that.
My advice to you is, don't go out with someone when you know that deep in your heart, you still have feelings for your ex. You're just hurting the person you're going out with and you're more miserable.
Time will heal everything. If there was a way to make anyone's life better, it's Time.
I know that when I'm sad, I do something that makes me happy.
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I am old enough to be your grandfather and I will let you in on a little secret; you never really forget or get over your first true love.
Even and old guy like me remembers my first love. My wife thinks it's a girl I almost married but she would be wrong. My first true love was a girl I met in high school. At the moment I can't remember her name, it will come to me, but I can see her in my minds eye. We were 12 years old going to the same junior high school. I remember walking the halls in school holding hands, the first time we played spin the bottle, yea I'm that old, and the first time we made out.
Now I have been married to my true love for 42 years. We raised a family together weathered both rewards and hardships together. Today because of an unfortunate accident my wife has to care for me as I am disabled. As I think about my first true love I'm not sure she would ever have been strong enough to put up with what life has put my wife and I through.
It is unfortunate but losing your first love hurts. Losing the next love and ones after that will hurt almost as much. The reward comes when you find your life partner. That person who is willing to overlook any shortcomings, we all have them, and work with you to build a life together. To grow old with you and still see you as the beautiful young woman he first met all those many years ago.
I know I sound somewhat like a romance novel. My dad sounded that way when he spoke to me after Jenny, that was her name, and I broke up. Now many decades later I have said this to mine and now to you. Sometime in the future you will say these same words to your son or daughter. It is part of the cycle of life.
As for getting your life back together. You are 13. You have many, many years ahead of you and many loves to experience. Somewhere between now and the time you finish college you will most likely find your life partner; your real true love. Do not dwell on the past, I'm sure he hasn't, move forward experience new things and new people. This is what your teenage years are all about.
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