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BF mother told me BF's ex is like her daughter..


Question Posted Monday November 18 2013, 12:13 pm

Okay, im 8 months pregnant, im the third babys mother, and for Thanksgiving BF mom invites BF and i to spend time at her house where baby mother#2 will be there and #2 makes it very clear that she does not like me, attitude and all. BF's mom went as far to tell me shes like a daughter to her, when I explained why I didnt feel comfortable going, so instead of planning a whole day trip there, she said she'll pick us up and bring us there for an hour.... I dont even want to go for 5 minutes. A little background on me an BF, we used to date when we were 20, he cheated on me with a girl so we broke up, I looked him up, found him down the road in a prison work release, he says hes not with anyone, he LEAVES work release to spend 4 dayys at my house says he Loves me, goes back to prison, I find his phone that says wifey on a contact name which turns out to be #2, call her, shes a wreck to hear that hes cheated on her again, says I can keep him, so just before he.gets out of prison for good my ex talks with me and I ended up getting drunk and we slept together and I told BF about it, and said I didnt think we should be.together, I was confused and didnt want him to move right in, he said he still wanted to, but the worst part is I blatenly told his mother what happened to so maybe she could talk him in to not coming to my house.. then now that he did, I tried to make it work, we got pregnant, and stuff has been a mess ever since. What should I do?

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lightoftruth answered Tuesday November 19 2013, 3:40 pm:
This guy does not sound like the type of guy you should even be with.

But if you do plan on staying with him, you should put some effort into his family. I completely agree with Rahzie. I understand why you don't want to be there, but she's family. You want to be apart of his life and his family is included.
There's nothing wrong with what his mother said to you. It's good for his mother to be close to his ex because she does have a child with him. She's the child's grandmother and it's smart of her to keep a good relationship with her. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

So you either don't stay with him, because you can't handle what comes along with dating him, or you suck it up and go.

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Razhie answered Tuesday November 19 2013, 8:59 am:
She is the mother of her grandchild, and the co-parent of your boyfriend's child. Your boyfriend's mother is absolutely, 100% right, to keep a close relationship with that woman, if that is what they both want.

If you want to be with this guy, then you're going to have to face his family, and his family includes the mother of his child. If you want to make this relationship work, than go for an hour, hold your tongue, be polite and talk about the weather.

Your boyfriend is dog, a repeated cheater and a liar, and his ex has every reason not to like you either, but if you want to be with him and have anything like a respectful and healthy relationship, you need to be able to sit for an hour in respect and decency with his mother, and the mother of his child.

If this is what you really want, suck it up and make it work.

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Dragonflymagic answered Tuesday November 19 2013, 2:35 am:
Honey, I don't mean to hurt your feelings or be rude be this sounds kinda like a scene from the Jerry Springer show.
There is really nothing I can tell you to do that would undo this mess. My opinion is that some of the choices you have been making in your life are not necessarily in your highest interest. By that, I mean that better choices could have been made.
You knew the man had cheated on you but you went after him later. You knew he's been in prison and it's not the law abiding upstanding citizens that end up in there. He was never a good choice for boyfriend, or future husband.
It may be that you have some lessons to learn in life by going through this. My advice is to seek to understand why you are making these kinds of choices, self evaluate, listen to your higher voice, go with your gut feeling. You could try seeing a counselor. And if you are religious at all, and not just calling on God to fix a mess, but honestly want to take a better life path from now on, then I would pray for answers, maybe see the local pastor.

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