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My sister slept with the guy I like, and now i don 't know what to do :/
7years I have liked this guy, we met up, and spoke for those entire 7 years. everything was going great until 2 weeks ago. My sister slept with him in my bed! whilst my cousin was asleep in there!!. I am heartbroken and so confused. It started when I txt him, he was feeling down so I thought what the hell me, my sister and my mates were going for drinks so he could join us for a cheer up. So my sister knew how I felt I mean all I have done for those 7years is talked to him. She slept with him that night, and today they have gone out on a date behind my back instead of telling me the truth. Tears prick in my eyes every time I mention it. when I confronted her about that night she laughed and smirked at me as tears ran down my face. I have to live with her which makes it worse! I just need to know what to do?? because it is taking every ounce of me not to hit her. and what is confusing me is that I am not mad at him but I should be right?? help me please...
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Hey girl, I was in the same situation as you were. I felt exactly the same way you did. I'm sorry for what happened. First thing, you should tell your parents and family, and friends, and anyone close to you what your sister did...so, they know what kind of slut she is. Don't talk to your sister, ever again. Unfortunately, if you live with her, then, you can make plans to move out or something. Better off, if your parents kick her out the house, for being a slut anyways. Your parents should punish her for 'sleeping in your room with the guy you were in love with.' That is so messed up and wrong. You mentioned your sister even "knew about your feelings towards him." Your sister has made it clear that she is not trustable. Do not ever trust her, she is not worth it, and has clearly proven it. To put a man, in front of a sister, is the worst mistake to be done. Because with men, they can come and go, but sisters are there forever. I don't talk to my sister anymore, you should do same. I find my true sister in nice friends and in others. I feel you, like you have no idea. I wish i can give you a hug and cook your favorite meal with dessert, bc i know exactly what you're going through. it's extremely painful. Also, i highly recommend you to seek a therapist or psychologist, as it will help ALOT, as it did for me. Also, keep a diary to put out all your feelings. It is important. As a female, we were natually created to tell others our emotions and feelings. That's why I mentioned before to tell your family, not only so they know not to trust her 'with your bedroom, know wat kind of person she is, but to rely on their help and support towards you', during these hard moments of your life. Also, it helps to go out and do things. Like, getting a new happy, taking art classes, painting, doing things you like...your creative side. Sorry, for calling your sister the s**t word..i called my sister the same. it's just that i really can't stand people like that, who are so-called family. Ignore her, and move on with your life. you should ignore her, the same way she ignored your feelings, for her own pleasure. I wish you the best of luck! Feel free to talk. xoxoxo
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Why were you guys only talking for 7 years? Why haven't you guys dated? Did he just not know you liked him or something?
I'm just saying because 7 years is a long time to just like someone without taking it to the next level. It sounds like someone who is in middle school and has liked that person for 4 years but can't do anything about it.
Anyways, it's fine to be mad at her. It wasn't right of her to sleep with the guy you like. Of course, he also choose to sleep with her. He wanted it just as much as she did and didn't take your feelings into consideration. So he doesn't see you the way you see him.
He doesn't seem like he was ever serious about your relationship. I mean for the obvious reason that he slept with your sister, but besides that, he hasn't committed to you. You didn't mention what the reasons for that was.
So my advice is to move on. Don't continue talking to this guy. You're gonna have to forgive your sister eventually or at least get on better terms.
Give yourself some time to move on. Don't go yelling or doing anything at all to your sister or the guy. That would be the childish thing to do. So stop talking to him, don't act mean to your sister, don't sit around and cry in front of them. Do that by yourself, then pick yourself up and get back out there.
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I'm a little confuse but I will get to that in a minute. As to who to be mad at; well as the saying goes it takes two to Tango. No one forced them to sleep with each other, it was a voluntary act on both of their parts.
What confuses me is how you can like someone for 7 years and not take the relationship to the next level. Meaning from talking to dating then on to a sexual level. The only logical answer I can come up with is you are much younger by as much as 7 years, then him. If this is true then you really have no qualms with either of them.
I say this for with such a large age difference there would have been no relationship there in the first place. Now 7 years later you may be old enough to go out drinking and move on to a relationship where it would be permissible as well as legal to have a sexual relationship. Still there is an age difference where he may not see you as someone he wants to date. He may still see you as the little kid or the kid sister who was always getting under foot.
What I'm saying is there is really not enough information here about you or him to give you a definitive reason for what happened. I can only make an educated guess based on my past experiences. when you can calm down and think about this rationally or even speak with your sister calmly. You may see this differently.
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Okay, I am curious- - -7 years of talking only, never progressing in the relationship? People today tendon, to date and use it as a status symbol or 'see, i'm normal' or whatever they wish to prove.
Thats the wrong reason to date. Dating starts at the talking level, you find out if you have lots to talk about, like how they think, if both of you feel that romantic spark and chemistry and you spend more time together and flirt and do romantic things together and work towards becoming sexual together. If he stayed with you 7 yrs and the two of you never had sex, somethings wrong. Either he pursued you and you weren't ever ready and kept refusing him, or he didn't feel that way about you, there was no chemistry that way. He only considered you a friend. So which was it?
Your sister has her own issues and who knows why she did what she did and treated you as she did. That is a hateful thing to do.
If he liked you only as a friend but nothing more, I would think in 7 yrs that at some point he would've said so...or perhaps he thought it was obvious. If he had a normal healthy sex drive yet never was turned on by you, desiring you, giving signs of how much he wanted to be sexual with you. I would say there's possibility he was asexual which means he would still desire the emotional attachment but have no interest in sex with women or men...but since he had sex with your sister, that's likely not the case.
Everyone has to take part of the fault for the problem. I am assuming you never asked the important questions as to where in the relationship you were at and where did he see you going, how does he feel about you. He is a jerk because even if he was drunk when he did it, once sober and planning to date sis, he should have been man enough to say something to you, even if you were only a best friend in his eyes. Thats plain rude and not something a loving friend would do. He doesnt have the guts to be a man. Hes a male cus of his sex but he isn't a man. I would suggest focusing your energy of anger at them both into doing something to improve your future. Start reading up on the stages of dating, books on communication for couples, the important basics of a healthy relationship of which some are being best friends, unconditional love, having a vibrant sex life and being sexually compatible, communication, trust. Put your energy and focus there. Dating is full of mistakes made but we can always do better the next time. You didnt lose anything great with him. You already know you like someone talkative but your conversations need to be more deep and meaningful and questioning. Retaliating in some way at sis lowers you to her level. If this is the kind of person she is and she does not change for the better, she will have a miserable life and never find a man who truly loves and cherishes her.
A man who truly loves you and has a great connection with you on all levels, emotionally mentally, spiritually, physically, can not be stolen by another woman, no matter what she tries.
The man who does go fool around...does not have a really good connection with his lady to begin with nor is he in love with his lady. Theres no way to know this all when just starting as teens or college age people. It is something that you learn by experience. You've had an experience...use it as a stepping stone to learning and improving the next relationship by making a better choice in a guy to begin with and also being the better woman for him. If you have any more specific questions, I'd love to help, just write and let me know. I am sorry for your pain, it will pass in time.Between you and your sis, you're the one who currently has a greater chance to have a wonderful man in the future because you are open and asking questions and looking for advice.
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You shouldn't just be mad at her, be mad at him. I hate when girls do that, blaming only the girl. You can't just blame and be mad at the sister, because you two were talking and he slept with her?! the heck?! Now about your sister, she probably for other reasons because the fact she smirked and laughed in your face, there is another issue there. In fact she probably doesn't like the guy she just knows you do. Now, i'm not saying you should hate your sister, or pretend she doesn't exist but I am saying there is nothing wrong with not being so close to family, especially if they screwed you over... probably on purpose. But yeah, forget the guy. He can go fall off a cliff, cares about nobody else. and your sister she has problems. so just do you. but keep your sister from a distance until the day you can talk about things and she realizes she was wrong for that.
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