|
21st bday w/o friends
My 21st birthday is in a week and a half. I have no close friends who I want to spend it with... and my family is in another country.
I want to have a memorable 21st birthday because all my other birthdays were crappy. I don't want to be alone so I'm asking my boyfriend to be with me that night. but I doubt he has any plans for us. What should I do? He's only 20 so he can't come with me to bars or clubs. I dont want to spend the night "in' watching movies. we always do that.
I dont want to get my hopes up about somebody planning a party or a fun event because it NEVER turns out the way I expected and it just always turns into a disaster.
help!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You have not given us much to go on here. One thing I will say is that based on past birthdays you are setting yourself up for failure so to speak. When you plan to fail, failure is usually the result you get.
So the first thing I recommend is a change of mind set. Plan to make this the best birthday you have ever had. Not knowing your financial situation I cannot make any specific recommendations as to what to do.
What I suggest is this: Plan on making this birthday the best one you can for yourself by yourself. First decide how much money you can dedicate to having a fun birthday. Now just because your boyfriend cannot drink does not mean he cannot join you for your celebration. In fact it is a good idea that he does as it means you not only would you have a dedicated driver to get you home safely; you also have someone you trust to watch out for you in the event you over indulge.
Now sit down with pen and paper and make a list of all the things you would like to do but have not yet done or have been unable to do because you were under age. When you have your list eliminate the ones that are more expensive then the funds you have set aside for your birthday.
From the remaining ones make another list of those you can actually do on your birthday should your birthday fall during the work or school week. It is up to you whether you celebrate on your exact birthday or wait until the weekend following your actual birthday.
Once you make your choice or choices on how YOU want to celebrate you are pretty much guaranteed a happy Birthday as you are doing what you want. Call this list whatever you want. Call it a bucket list if you want for you can come to it in the future to do the other things on it.
My way of celebrating my Birthday, and I am many decades past 21, is to find a five star restaurant I have not tried and ask the chef to make me an outrageous dinner based on my food & wine preferences. It is my once a year indulgence in to no questions asked cuisine. Fortunately being as old as I am I have the funds to indulge myself in this manner once a year and my wife goes along with it.
This is what I am recommending; do something you would not ordinarily do on any other day of the year.
Have a Happy Birthday.
]
The only problem I see here is that because of unhappy past birthdays, your subconscious mind has formed a picture of what a happy memorable birthday is supposed to look like.
If it wasn't for the fact that this particular day is your birthday, what would you do on any average day, to have an extremely fun time?
Forget that fact that it is your birthday because just the focus on it will cause you to possibly not see the solutions or be willing to try them.
What kind of things do you and he find fun to do? Is there something the both of you would like to try that you have never done?
Or perhaps there's something you don't necessarily have a yearning to try, but anything new could turn out to be a bunch of fun.
For example, when I was dating, this guy and I were at his place, trying to decide what to do that evening, somewhere to go. A male friend of mine who has also been a dance partner for me called to ask If I wanted to go dancing. I told him I was on a date or that we were deciding where to go. He said to tell the guy it is Zydeco music. When I told him he lit up and said he loved that kind of music. So we followed the directions and met my friend there. And before the music started was a 20 minute free lesson on how to dance the basic Zydeco style. It was so easy you didn't have to think hard about it. I had soooo much fun trying something I'd never done before.
Another thing i found as a very fun event and stands out is the one time I went to a comedy club. I am sure if you both really gave it some thought, you could come up with something that will make it a memorable day and be something other than just going out to dinner.
]
More Questions: |