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I am confused on the point that whether i am falling for my friend or not.
i am from India. I am 21 years old. i met this guy two and a half months before and we turned out to be very good friends. after one month, i realized that this person is falling for me. i ignored this fact to the greatest extent possible. but now his behavior is changing. and now i miss all those things which he used to do for me. no doubt, he still does everything which i tell him to do. many a times i become possessive for him and even after knowing this fact, he continues to do whatever i say. he calls me whenever i ask him to. in short, he rarely makes efforts from his side. but equally he never ignores what i tell him. suggest me what should i do now and is it right for me to continue making the efforts from my level..?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well it does sound like you're falling for him.
But it also might be that you want what you can't have. You weren't interested in him when he was interested in you but once he started losing interest in you, you started becoming interested in him.
So my advice to you would be to figure out your feelings first. Take your time. Once you know how you feel, then that's when you decide where to go with it. Whether or not you should tell him how you feel.
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Dating is for spending more time together to see if the initial attraction had to become friends or boyfriend/girlfriend can go beyond just the attraction stage.
At the start of every possible new relationship, there is something called NRE New Relationship Energy. It's an extra heightened way of feelings and emotions. Every look, touch, action, thing said, is felt more strongly during this time.
NRE lasts a couple months and then begins to subside.
Another way to think of it is if something dangerous or scary happened and made your heart race...because the adrenaline is pumping to help you be prepared to fight for your life. Once you've had the adrenaline pumping, it takes quite some time before you return to feeling normal.
So when NRE levels, like adrenaline, finally come back down, it is then you can see what realistically the relationship is made up of, what is there, and what is not there.
We can be attracted only to discover we lose interest weeks later.
If he has pulled away, you need to find out if its due to being busy with studies or work and not having the time to invest with you, or if his feelings and interest level in you has changed.
Perhaps his personality is one where he is willing to always lend a hand to anyone who asks and right now you are the only one asking at the time. That does not mean his heart is into you.
How do you feel about him? That question is equally important. What exactly do you want in a guy? If you dont know, you better figure it out quickly, otherwise you are no better off than a piece of driftwood willing to let the tides determine which beach it washes up on, whether it likes the beach or not. Feelings of possesiveness are not feelings of love no matter how strong they may feel. A possession is a thing, an item that belongs to you, you own it. I have a collection of books on herbalism in my possession. I possess two vehicles, one van, one small car. The possession indicates ownership.
People can not be owned like a possession. I am sure you know that, but feelings of jealousy can come up... not matter what we know. At those those you must tell yourself, "I can not own him, he can only decide to devote his love to me solely. I can not demand the love, force him to love me or blackmail him for it. It must come of his own free will or it is not love, but owner and master. When one is stronger or controls more in a relationship, the relationship will be out of balance. Only you can determine if that is the case here. Relationships where both parties are not putting in equal effort are doomed to fail, its a matter of time before that happens.
It's not whether its a right thing for you to make efforts or a wrong thing...its whether you feel there is a reason to continue to keep him in your life and what status level you want to keep him for, as a friend or as a romantic partner.
Only you can answer those questions dear.
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