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Story of my life=awkward big mess
Hi guys . I am 13 and in 8th grade. Okay first off, I have a big friend problem. I have been friends with these two girls, lets just call them Alice and Nicole, roe five yrs. in 6th grade I started hanging out with these two other girls, lets call them Eva and Lauren, and it was fun. In 7 grade something happened with my older sis and I told Alice and Nicole. Nicole told one girl and she told well EVERYONE. I had a breakdown, started going to the school counsels office during lunch and hadn't touched my phone for two weeks when lauren and Eva approached me again(but this time they werent pushing for details) ( they wanted me to keep on hanging out with them but i wanted to stay away from everyone)They said if I didn't want to talk about it it's fine and we bonded. Nicole had apologized a zillion time in that two weeks, and said that some girls saw us talking in hushed voices and said they would tell her crush she liked if she did not spill. I forgave her eventually, but it was never the same. Okay also with Eva and lauren is a girl named Mary. She was new last year and we became friends. This year it seems like lauren has made friends with this mean nasty girl named Sophie. So I want to know who should I be friends with. I know this sounds like middle school drama, BUTNIT IS NOT.I was thinking about killing myself this year cause I felt so alone. Nicole and Alice don't get me anymore and I think Mary would be a good friend but I don't really know her and my parents are always off on buisness trips. Lauren just makes me jealous so that would not work and Eva would not either cause i do not think she thinks of me as a bff. I feel SOOO alone. I am dwelling up all my problems in myself. It is like no one loves you. No one understands you. I wonder if I kill myself people will finally notice me.
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By reading your story I have realized that I once was exactly the same. I thought that I was alone and that I was rejected by my friends (lack of friends). And yes I did try to commit suicide many times but it never worked. Suicide isn't the answer to your problem-it isn't an answer to any problem.
About your friends. If you feel like you cannot be friends with them anymore then find yourself new friends. I know it sounds a bit harsh but the truth is that true friends will always be with you no matter what. Or you could try to know that Mary girl a bit better. You never know, you two might just click. Give it a go.
About your parents. Most parents these days are busy. You should try to understand them because they do it for you so that you will have a better future. If you feel alone then talk to them. Maybe they'll find some time just for you. Or you could go and visit other relatives, they'll definitely be happy to see you.
Hope that this helped you somehow but please whatever you do don't commit suicide as life is too precious. Also try to think more optimistically-turn the negatives into positives.
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Ok well committing suicide won't solve your problems. Before I get into who you should be friends with, I'm gonna address your suicidal thoughts.
It's hard to feel alone. It's hard when your parents aren't around as much as you'd like them to be. But when you're feeling so alone that no one loves you and it drives you to the point of considering suicide, you need professional help.
I'm going to advise you to talk to a counselor or therapist. They are trained to help people with problems like you. It's their job and what they chose to do for a living. They will help you find solutions to your problems and find better ways to deal with your problems rather than thinking the only way is suicide.
As for who you should be friends with, that's completely up to you and your own judgement. This is middle school drama. Gossiping and such, it's all dumb drama. If Nicole and Alice don't get you anymore, then you guys just drifted apart and that's life. Throughout your middle school and high school years you will be making and losing lots of friends, just stay with the right ones.
Why does Lauren make you jealous? If she's just not a good person to be around and wouldn't be a good friend, then that makes sense on why you would not like to be friends with her. If it's just your own jealousy, then that's something you need to work on yourself.
I don't think it matters if Eva sees you as a BFF. If she treats you like a good friend, is supportive, respects you and all that, then why not be her friend?
Obviously don't be friends with Sophie if she's mean. If you think Mary would be a good friend then get to know her more.
Overall, just meet new people. You don't need to stick with the same people all the time. You don't need them all to be your best friends. You just need true friends and none of this middle school/high school drama.
So go seek professional help and meet new people.
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DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!!!! You just need to forget those people and just try making new friends. It may be hard but you need people who care. Try getting to know the new girl. Hopefully this helped. :)
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