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Birth Control: Can My Parents See If I Get on Birth Control Pills?
19/f
I've been having sex more often and I thought the best thing to do was to get on birth control to be safe.
I just feel uncomfortable talking to my parents about it. They've both asked me because I've been with my boyfriend for two years.
I was online scheduling an appointment to see my doctor and my mom was telling me what to fill in. Birth control was on there and she was like, "There's not need for that, you're not having sex right?" I knew that would've been the easiest way to say it but I said no. Then she proceeded on about how I was a good girl and stuff.
So I don't want to tell her because I don't want her to see me as a "bad girl" now.
Anyways, I know I can see my doctor by myself but I'm afraid it'll show up on the insurance. We have Kaiser and I can see my families medical records when I log on so I'm afraid that if I go, they'll see mine too. Is that the case? What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Birth Control Pills?
Did you find the way to get your pills already or still didnt?
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You are an adult, even if your parents see that you went to a doctor for birth control, they cant stop you or tell you that you can't take it. You will not be a "bad girl" for wanting birth control, you are trying to protect yourself and they should be proud of you for that.
P.S. I'm a teen mom because I wasn't on birth control. Using it to be sure is a good way for them to respect you.
~PJC
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I'd call Kaiser and mention your concern, since you're of legal age, though still carried by parents since still college age, you want to know if there's a way that your records be separate from your parents so parents have no way to view your records on line. If you cannot be guaranteed that they cannot see this info on screen, then you might have to go to Planned Parenthood in this one instance and not mention wanting birth control to your doctor when in for your checkup. Planned Parenthood will not share any information with your parents. So that's to answer your question based on mom having no knowledge of this.
However, I would like to bring to your attention that as females, we have tendencies to getting bladder infections and cases of bacterial vaginosis or yeast infections, regardless if we are having sex or not. As narrow-minded or naive that mom may be, just going in to get treatment for that, even if you were not having sex, may convince mom that you are.
So what I am saying is that for the meantime, do what you need to get on B.C. privately but consider how you will let it slip that you are having sex now, even though You are of the legal age of consent to have sex. So it's actually none of your mom's business if you are having sex.
Besides the obvious point of sex being one of many ways to express your love to that someone special, it also has many health benefits. And this is what I want to point out to you because I believe its one of the best ways to bring the subject up.
Even if there was no 'being in love' or "marriage to someone before sex" simply based on the health benefits, having sex once of legal age, is very important and should be occuring in everyones life. There is no "good girl" or "bad girl" about it. Those terms are misconceptions of reality and have no value in them. So you should not pay it any mind.
Sometimes, the child teaches the parent. That happens on certain topics and situations, more often than you may think. I have had opportunity to set my parents straight (with respect) on certain things as my husband had with his parents growing up. We're in our 50s now. Due to being open-minded, our 4 daughters don't have to set us straight on anything, most their input into our lives is to keep us up to date with some technology stuff we dont get, the newest slang, cool new music groups, that sort of thing.
So here is the article link(please read it dear):
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
theres a button at the button for page 2 that I almost didnt see, just to draw your attention to that. So of the 10 health benefits, next time mom in chatting with you and mentions that she has an awful headache, heres your opportunity, "Mom, maybe you should think of giving sex a try, it is reputed to get rid of headaches. It helped me get rid of a headache. It's a scientifically proven fact." Or she mentions that she's having a hard time getting to sleep lately, "Mom have you tried having some vigorous sex when you can't sleep? Its scientifically proven to help people go to sleep by the release of oxytocin during orgasm. It's helped me when I couldn't sleep." Or do the same for her mentioning being stressed. I am sure it will be hard for you to get past the barrier of feeling uncomfortable talking about sex. I was once as a young married gal, unable to speak the word "sex" audibly for anyone to hear, not even a close friend. I finally realised I needed to push myself to get past the awkward point. Once I did, it got easier and easier. Now its as easy and normal a topic of conversation as talking about the weather.
I just thought of something, if Kaiser can make your records separate, next time Mom is online and doesnt see the results of your last visit to Dr. be prepared for a barrage of questions. I have no solution other than to say your wanted your privacy cus youre now an adult. then she'll want to know that as your mom, what is so private that she can't know about. She may give up or she may not let it rest and pester you about it...just a thought. Good luck dear.
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You are legally an adult, By law your parents are no longer entitled to know your business without your permission.
If you want to get birth control on your own, You are of age to do so. Do your parents need to know? No. You are now an adult, They will only know if you told them.
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You are 19 in the eyes of the world and the law you are an adult. Your parent no longer have any legal right to see your medical records. If you are seeing their medical records it is or should be because they have given the doctors or the Medical plan written permission for you to do so.
Under a federal law called HIPPA for anyone to see your medical records your doctors must have written permission from you to let them see your records. Your doctor cannot speak to your parents about any medical visit you have, any prescription they write for you or anything that transpires in the confines of their private spaces of their office. Your mom can no longer invite herself into any exam room with you. You must invite her or she must sit in the waiting room.
All of this has nothing to do with the fact that you may be on their insurance. I could even be paying for your medical bills. That would not give me the right to see your medical records without your written permission.
The only time your parents or your future husband even, can talk to your doctor about a current medical condition without your written consent is: If you are unable to understand and consent to treatment or unconscious and in a life threatening condition.
How to fix this:
When you visit your doctor tell the nurse or appointment clerk you want to see who has the right to view you medical records, this is your right. If your parents have the right it was probably done when you were younger around age 14 when you first had limited medical privacy under HIPPA.
If so tell the nurse or clerk you want to rescind that authorization or make changes to when and who can be authorized to see your medical records. Do this with all of your doctors including your dentist, eye doctor and talk to your druggist about HIPPA rights as well.
As far as insurance billing goes. This is all done by code numbers and RX numbers for prescriptions. Your parents will not know what the exam or procedure is unless they can decode the coding. As for your prescriptions the druggist can not divulge that information without your written permission.
In short a few questions at each of your doctors offices and drug stores and moms access to your medical records can be turned off. Your an adult now and as someone who is old enough to be your grandfather I will tell you this.
As an adult you are entitled to a sex life if you want one. Getting on birth control is not only the smart thing to do it is the right thing to do. I will also urge you to have your partner or future partners use a condom until you are in a long term committed relationship. Meaning you are living together or you have married. Condoms not only are 85% effective in prevent pregnancy but they are effective in preventing the transmission of certain STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.
If you have sex with a man without a condom you are having sex with every other person he has had sex without a condom and the people they have had unsafe sex with as well. IF he refuses to wear a condom I would suggest you tell him no sex without it and send him on his way.
Men who refuse to wear a condom are not only being selfish. They are also showing the lack of respect they have for you and your safety. Even back in my day when the pill was first available to all and HIV/AIDS was not yet a problem STDS were. The girls had a motto; no "rubber no lover." I would suggest you adopt that motto for your own health safety.
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