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I'm having a hard time dealing with my stepdad's death
Hii .... 14/F. I got this song on my computer and it was about a girl who's dad has died.* so here's my story... When I was 3 years old my mom and dad got divorsed because my dad is a alcoholic and he was allways like abousing us and most of the time we slept lockked up in the bathroom*..* so my mom met my stephdad and we bacame very lose bacause I never had a dad when I was 10 he died of cancer...* it was so bad I had to get help.* it worked but someyimes I just really miss my stephdad..* and I don't want to cry bacause my mom don't really understand why I'm crying..* I really miss him..* what should I do? And there's no one I can talk to..*
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I know how hard it is to lose someone and feel alone like there's no one to talk to and that will understand what your going through. But in my opinion have you tried talking to your step dad's family and seeing if you can talk to them and cry with them over y'alls loss? It's just a thought, not saying you have to. It's just hard because I lost my grandma to cancer a week before my daughter was born and that was almost 5 years ago.
So I do know what your going through, I know there's sites you can look up on google.com to help you cope with your loss. It's just nice to get it out to someone that understands what it's like to lose someone especially all that you had been through in your life. Well good luck on finding your answer to your question and I hope this helped.
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I've watched many teens go through grieving over a death. A friend of mine just lost her mom, she just graduated from high school. She has a younger sister that's your age and a brother who is 16. So they all lost their mother. Her mothers death was a sudden one. She went to the hospital for a simple surgery that wasn't going to have any complications. But she got sick afterwards and the hospital made a mistake about letting her out early and they forgot to give her a piece to her oxygen tank so she couldn't breathe and passed away the day the came home from the hospital.
Another friend of mine, his dad passed away last year of pneumonia.
When my friend was 16, her mom drowned in her car and couldn't get out.
This is all to let you know, you're not alone and you're allowed to be grieving.
You need to let your mom know that you're having a very hard time dealing with this. You should talk to a counselor and they'll help you get through this.
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Not many teens will openly share about deep things like this so there may be others grieving a loss like you too. Since you said there was no one you could talk to, the idea came to me that the solution is to find teens in the same situation as you, to talk to cus of anyone, they will understand the best. I have lost both parents but it didn't happen when i was a teen so even I am not the best to understand what its like for you. Sometimes when we are hurting, if nothing else has helped yet, the best thing we can do is take the focus off ourselves and think of others. There must be other teens who need someone to talk to.
Sooo start an online support group for teens grieving the loss of someone. It may be easier for them to talk to someone on line than to someone in person. If you reach out to someone else who is hurting, you will be blessed in return.
Know that all loved one that go before you, you will see again one day on the other side, in Heaven.
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I understand what you're going through. I lived with my great grandmother until the day she died of breast cancer. We were very close. It was eleven years ago, and I still think about her and hurt. I still cry sometimes, too. My childhood was also rocky.
Each year that passes will make dealing with it easier, but I wish I had known I could turn to God back then. It would have made everything so much easier. I was so hurt and felt so alone, and like you, I didn't talk to anyone about it. I'd needed help and wanted a psychiatrist, but my mom told me no. So I literally talked to no one.
I harbored so much for so many years because of it. When I finally came to God (just this year), everything made so much more sense. I'm finally able to let it go, know she's at peace, and I can be at peace, too. Sure, sometimes I think about her, and I miss her so so much, but by putting my faith in the finished works of Jesus Christ, I can know happily and peacefully, that I'll see her again one day.
All you have to do is pray to God to take away your pains. Ask him to help you through your sufferings and help bring you to peace. It's okay to grieve, the Bible even tells you that you must grieve, it's very important to do. But when you grieve and call out to the Lord, He hears your pain and eases it for you. All you have to do is pray for Him to do it. He's here for you always.
I don't know if you're religious or not, but here are some verses that really help me through tough times. Maybe they can help you, too.
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." --Matthew 11:28
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. --Matthew 5:4
(This is one of my favorites...)
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. --Isaiah 43:2
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." --Jeremiah 29:11
May you turn to the Lord and ask him for his help, and may He bless you greatly!
xoxo
MissAshlee
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Grief is a difficult thing and experienced differently by everyone and for children is often more intense than adults. It's okay to be sad one moment and not know what to feel the next. You had a deep connection to this man and processing that and feelings about his death is profound.
I know your mother would understand and appreciate that this is troubling you. It's important to be honest about this to her. You would benefit greatly from professional counseling with a grief counselor and or therapist who can help you understand your feelings and reaction to this event in your life. Definitely tel your mother or a trusted adult what's going on. I know they will assist you.
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