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How to find your biological dad
So ever since I was little I have always been raised by my mother and no one but her. Of course when I got older I would sometime question about my biological dad and try to ask my mom, but then she would get defensive and would not want to talk about it. She thinks that when I ask her that, that its because I want to move in with him and then she gets all sarcastic and narcissistic about it. She quotes " that things are meant to be left in the past". And so I've asked other family members and then they told me little snippets that basically my father had a wife in a different country and was trying to get to her to come to America .. But while he was waiting for the process to come through he manipulated my mom and tricked my mom that he actually loved her. So then when his wife was finally able to come , he left my mom pregnant and joined his wife as if nothing happened.
My thing is that I just want to know what he looks like and what my "half siblings " look like and like a bit of facts about the family and him . I have no intentions on making amends or communicating with him considering he is a duche bag for what he's done. So then I tried asking my doctor what I should do and she said that she can't do anything if she doesn't know the name of my father ... So I'm back to square one.
I can't ask my mom the name cause I've been there and done that. I understand why my mom is the way she is... But I feel like I at least have the right to know this...
How can u find out about my biological dad?? What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Given the facts as you have presented them unless your fathers name is on your birth certificate I see no way of finding your biological father. Without help from mom or another family member there is no paper trail to follow as there would be if your were adopted or the result of a reported rape.
One thing you might try is to ask you doctor to talk with your mother about obtaining medical history of family members for you. In order to properly care for you a doctor needs to have a complete medical history on file which includes the medical history of your parents and your grand parents.
Under these circumstances mom may be willing to give your doctor the contact information she needs to obtain this information. If you're under 18 the doctor can legally say with 100% accuracy that this information is confidential and you will not have access to it. When you turn 18 and you are legally an adult that changes and you are entitled to see your medical records. If your doctor retains the contact information you will then be able to find your biological father.
This is the best I can offer and your doctor would have to be willing to do this for you.
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I am an adoptee
I found 2 sisters and a biological brother by using www.adopteeconnect.com
Do you know your fathers name, birthdate? You could try googling his information. Try facebook...
Is there anyone in your family who may know information like your grandmother?
Do not give up, Took me 10 years to find my siblings but I found them. You have a right to know
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Hey, I totally understand your situation. My "Dad" left my mom pregnant and then got another wife, I have so many half siblings that I cant even count. Your mother doesn't tell you the things you want to know because not the fact that she's scared you'll move in with him, but the fact that he might hurt your feelings and she don't want you to be disappointed in what you'll find. That's what my mom tells me, she says the reason she don't want me to meet him is because she don't want me to be disappointed
in what I will see............The best thing you need to do is just wait until you get older and then try to find out the facts yourself.......that's what I'm going to do.
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