15/f this guy 17/m we have been talking for like two months now he goes to my school. we talk all the time and its not awkward or anything we are really good friends and we talk about anything and everything. he'll usually always text me first and he'll say he thinks im a cool person and a cool person to talk to, im attractive, im really down to earth, nice and everything. and the other day we were talking about how when we both at a party I was drunk and that was the first we were talking really and he wasn't drinking and I wanted to hook up (make out) with him just because it was a spontaneous thing but he was like I cant im talking to this girl they had like a thing or whatever but now that's over I was telling him how that night I didn't like him and he was like was it because I didn't hook up with you and I said I think that had something to do with it and he said did you want to hook up and I said yeah I think so and then he asked if I still wanted to and I said yeah I would. and by this point he had been asking me to hangout for a while so I said oh this is why you wanna hangout and he said no if I just wanted to hook up with you I would've just asked and never talked to you again I actually really wanna hangout with you because I like talking to you. so I am so confused if hes just "beating around the bush" with I like this about and I like that about you, he wont come out and say I like you but I have no idea. I asked my friend whos in his grade if hes really talking to anyone and she said no hes not. his best friend that im friends with told me he was talking about me saying that he thinks im a cool girl and about the hook up thing and how hes not really looking for a relationship. but I don't even know if I am either I just want to know how he feels about me only because If I hook up with another guy I don't want him to think like he doesn't mean anything to me or whatever so im just confused
Dragonflymagic answered Friday June 21 2013, 11:18 pm: Our teens and young adult years are the time to date many different people...not all at the same time. You are not shooting for a long term relationship at this point, just learning what you like and don't like about guys and you will need to experience several relationships to learn. It's not often that teens who meet in high-school end up being sweethearts who marry. Part of the learning experience involves sex, and who you have some or a lot of chemistry with. What your guy most likely is saying is he really likes you as a person, and he prefers to have sex with someone he hits it off with as a friend. This would be called, A friend with benefits. Guys find it easier to engage in sex before falling in love, while girls like to have some feeling for the guy before she does. He just is not trying to give false hope that he is looking for a girl to marry some day at this point...he is being realistic here. Since he sounds like a wonderful guy, I see no reason for you to not hook up with him. But I highly recommend you go to planned parenthood for contraceptives first because some you need to be on for a while before they are effective. If at any point he or you find you no longer have an interest in each other and have met someone else, then nicely let them know you are going to date someone else now for a while cus you are still trying to learn about relationships and what you like in a guy. If at any point he takes himself out of integrity, not being honest with you, attempting to date others when he said he'd only commit to you for now, never stay with a guy who can not keep his word or doesnt treat a lady right, no matter how much your heart still feels an attachment of love inside. Good luck dear. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
lightoftruth answered Friday June 21 2013, 10:12 pm: It does sound like he's into you, but not into having a relationship or being serious with you.
He doesn't sound like a bad guy who is using you, because he didn't hook up with you when you were drinking as he was talking to another girl.
Anyways, I think what you should do is talk to him about it. He isn't being straight up with you so it'd make me think he's just into a casual thing. So it's best to ask him about it. Just ask him if he likes you and see where it goes from there. If he says, "Yeah I do, but..." then you know he's not looking for anything more than a casual thing and then you'll know if he'll be upset if you get with another guy. [ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question ]
xTruthinLovex answered Friday June 21 2013, 9:18 pm: In your mind it may seem like he's totally into you. In his mind he may think of you as a girl-friend. Here are some questions you should ask yourself: Do I really like this boy? Is he the right one for me? Or does he just want to get in my pants? You have to be carful with boys. Some of them may not even like you for you but for your looks or body. From what you've said in your paragraph in which you described you problem it seems that in fact he does like you. But you might want to take this relationship slow if he was recently talking to another girl. [ xTruthinLovex's advice column | Ask xTruthinLovex A Question ]
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