|
dog fight
I went to take a shower and left a croissant on the counter and when I was done I heard strange high pitched noises so I looked around the corner and at the top of the stairs was my boyfriends lab. She was crying and limping, and my much larger male dog was standing at the bottom of the stairs.
They obviously got in a fight over the food, and she didn't win...he took her to the vet this morning, but now my boyfriend will not talk to me or acknowledge me or my dog in any way.
My problem is, he slept downstairs last night, didn't wake me up to go to the vet, and has said maybe 10 words total to me today. I'm upset about her being hurt and I feel like I'm being blamed for this. Obviously I shouldn't have left the food out, but its not the first time we've had food out and they've been downstairs with it alone.
Should I try to talk to him or just leave home alone. I'm feeling sick to my stomach and very stressed about this whole thing
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Pets?
Talk to him about it, but give him some time first. He'll probably be upset for a while because it was his companion that was hurt. Look towards mending both your boyfriend and your dogs relationship. There seems to be some sort of food aggression going on, and it's best to address that right away to keep that from happening again. Food aggression is dangerous to humans and animals.
]
Well, you'll need to speak to each other.
You both have a big problem - and it's not that you left out food, or that his dog got hurt - your big problem is that there are two dogs on your home that are fighting.
This is no ones fault - they are animals acting like animals - but to handle this problem you are both going to need to step up, take pet ownership and training very seriously, and work together. He can't shut you out, or blame you entirely for the irrational behaviour of two beings that are only as smart as toddlers.
You need to come up with a plan together for supervising the dogs. You need to get a dog trainer, together, to help figure out what the problem is and what you both need to do to address it.
It's okay for your boyfriend to be upset - but it's not okay for him to shut you out. This is a huge problem, and you are going to need to communicate and work together to fix it. Neither of you can fix this on your own.
]
First off, both of you as dog owners need to be trained. Its not the dogs that are at fault in every case but the owners who have unknowingly done the subtle but wrong things that actually train their dogs to become the way they are. Not only should they not be taking food that is left out, even in reach, but they should not be aggresive with each other no matter what reason. If you have watched Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer, you will remember what I am talking about. Its not easy...even I do not know how to think like a dog so if I have made mistakes too. We all do.
So if you feel the boyfriend is blaming you, have a talk. Bring up the subject of both of you learning to train the dogs better. (Books by Cesar or better yet, both dogs in same dog obediance class with both of you attending to learn what you need to learn.) If he still insists that you were at fault, that is very immature of him and it is good you learned that now about him. This may be a trait about him that will never change if he thinks he is perfect and doesn't need to improve as a human ever during his lifetime. We all need to keep evolving and growing in our life. If we don't we become stuck and end result we aren't happy with ourselves or someone else is not happy with us. And life or a relationship begins to lose its joy for us.Maybe this is no big deal to you, if so
So observe the boyfriend closely for a while...what hints are there that he has other traits you might not be willing to live with for long term. The fact you feel stressed shows its a big deal to you so you can't just go on forever ignoring things about the boyfriend that might be staring you in the face...things you know you can't put up with long term. Don't let him talk you into only you learning how to train the dogs because he will continue to counteract your training by doing the opposite. In a partnership relationship, like a business or a marriage, both parties need to be willing to put in maximum effort to make it work. If you discover that he is not willing to hold up his end, that it will be time to end the relationship.
I know this is more than you were asking about but in real life, your situation will naturally lead into these possibilities. I hope everything can be worked out for you two and the dogs
]
More Questions: |