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help.
I work in rows on my scarred skin
My razor my spade my drug allowing me to feel again
People chant Yolo and live in the now
But when I catch my reflection in the mirror all I see is a fat sow
When I look down my future is in binds
Scars and fat is all I find
I cant even breath
Ive bloodied my sleeve
I always have people say theyre always there
But I feel as if no one really cares
As the pain and vomit urges me to bid good bye
The pain and blood will sing me their sorrowful lulliby.
Please help me.im 13 a girl and am hopeless.I cant stop.
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Like others say, you aren't alone. A lot of people go through what you are going through. Ive experienced what you are going through. I write all the good things about myself and repeat them over and over. People are going to judge but your not alone in this. I know its not easy to stop but you can try though. You are worth it. You are somebody. Nobody is fat. They are maybe fuller-figured. Its a better term to use. You are beautiful and you should tell yourself that. Don't listen to the negatives, because you are beautiful and you should believe it.
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Well firstly I'm going to say that you are great with words and you should keep writing.
I also want to say that you're not alone. There are plenty of young girls and boys who feel the way you do and do the same things you do because they think it will make them feel better or make them feel like they deserve it. I'm sure you know that this isn't good for you, which is why you asked for help.
No one deserves to feel this way.
If people bully you or make fun of you, you shouldn't listen to them. Although it's easier said than done. But if you work at it and find the true beauty in yourself, you'll start believing that you truly are a beautiful person.
Cutting is one of the hardest things to get past. I cut for 6 years and I wish I had gotten help sooner. Because it will affect your life and make you ten times miserable.
So go look for help. Go to a hospital, go to a counselor, go to your parents. As long as you get the help you need. They will show you how to cope with the problems of life and deal with your problems better.
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first off, you are wonderful with words, a talented poet even though the subject matter is sad. I made a friend who showed me a book of poems she wrote when she was younger, two back to back physically abusive marriages. The 2nd guy killed his own baby by kicking her in the stomach until she miscarried. The poetry was her way of getting out the emotions, sadness, depression and grief of her life at that time. Now she has them to read and see how far she has come. Life is difficult for everyone. At 13, maybe you are one of only a handful who suffer the same circumstances that cause you to cut. Those you think who have a great life, are popular and happy still have their life lesson awaiting them. We are all meant to go through the hardships, not to cut or kill ourselves, but to find ways to get through them triumphantly because that makes us a stronger better person and soul.
So You feel you are fat and perhaps kids say much the same. You had the option to believe and accept and agree with their assessment of you, or you can choose to refuse it and not accept it.
Oh but not accepting a statement like "you are fat" is hard, isnt it. Thats why you are stuck. So this means you will need to self motivate to get out of this hole.
First tell your parents, tell school counselors and get started on counseling. You can do small things for yourself too..not to make the kids happier with your looks but only if its what you want. If you are seriously obese, a family doctor should be part of your help team. Too much extra weight will affect your health. If you have some fat and wish to lose some, perhaps your Dr. has some safe guidelines for diet and exercise. If not matter what you do, weight does not come off, it could be something hereditary or maybe your big boned to begin with and close to a normal weight.
Let me tell you something about weight. I have a sister who looked like a playboy bunny starting at your age. You might think, great she had it made...she could be popular. Nope. not at all. Girls were jealous of her and she was hit on by guys not just her age multiple times daily for sex but was getting the same from adult men. She couldn't cope and began to gain weight as a way to get rid of the unwanted attention and pressure. No one cared about who she was inside.
She is now in her forties finally losing the weight for health reasons--diabetes
She found a husband who loved her body the way it was. Looks aren't everything, but having a healthy self image is everything dear. SO see a professional to gain some perspective and enjoy your life.
PLEASE do continue to write poems of your journey, the help process, and your feelings along the way to gaining a good self image. Perhaps on the other end, the book of your poems may be published and given out by counselors to other young people who are in the position you once were, to encourage them. Blessings to you dear.
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