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Engagement Question
I asked a question earlier about how I didn't know if I should get engaged before my sister got married. By the way, I should have made it clear that I don't want to get engaged for the attention. I was saying that I ideally would like to wait so that she can have her own attention and so can I, but I don't know if that can work out. I came up with an idea a short while ago that I hope will help the situation. My sister just got engaged and is getting married in June of 2014, so what if I waited until February or so until I got engaged. Actually I don't know when my boyfriend will propose to me, but I guess I could talk to him about this and see how he feels. If we did that, then my sister could be in the spotlight by herself for almost a year and we would only be engaged together for a very short time. I'd still like to wait so that we can each have our own spotlight spotlighting the time we got engaged until the time we got married, but I don't see how that can give me enough time to plan a wedding by the time we are needing to get married.
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When do you need to get married? Is your boyfriend leaving in the military or something that you have a certain amount of time to get married?
Honestly, just let the whole attention thing go. It seems like you're over thinking the whole attention spotlight thing.
I think you should just wait until your boyfriend proposes and go from there. If he happens to propose then, then that's fine and you can start planning your wedding. If he does it sooner, that's fine too because being engaged isn't the spotlight, it's the wedding. Unless you or your sister have jealousy problems that you have to plan everything, even when you get engaged.
Just let it happen when it happens.
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Only thing I can think of is, Has someone been planting the thought in your head that it is important that you be married before your sister or at least engaged before she marries? I do not understand your focus so much on timing here.
I think the focus is better spent on whether you and he are right for each other...not obsessing over when you get engaged, married. Perhaps you will not marry this man after all. Don't feel like you have to marry the first person who shows an interest in you. You are not an old maid if sister is engaged and married before you.
Do you both strengthen each other, not weaken each other. Can you be yourselves without having to change who you are for the other. Does this man support and uphold you? Is there really a spark between you romantically or is it just sex.
These are the things you'd be better off focusing on. If he is the right one, then you will be engaged and married in due time. It is nothing to be rushed.
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In both you questions you use the term; " needing to get married." You do not explain what you mean by "needing to get married." Without this information it would be hard for any of us to give you any better information then we may have already done or may be able to do without understanding what you mean by this.
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