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Boyfriend wanted Break, wanted me back, but now I've lost feelings for him?
My boyfriend and I had been dating pretty seriously for seven months or so; we are grad students, and in the stress of the end of the semester, he got very cranky for a few days and then said he wanted to take a break, and that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be together; but before the end of that conversation, he was crying and trying to take it back. We are in our 20s but he is a couple years younger than me, which caused some internal frustration for me sometimes (me wanting to settle down soon, him not even thinking about marriage yet etc). Anyway, I felt so very hurt after he said those things that I couldn't give him an answer about being back together or not. It has been a few weeks, and I suppose we are "seeing" each other. We were best friends, so it feels natural. The thing is, randomly enough, I seemed to have lost my feelings for him in the weeks since the break-talk (I have been crazy about him before this). So confused, any thoughts?
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I think either two things happen after a break. You either get back together and it really helped the relationship, or you just don't feel the same because you lost your feeling of security.
A lot of women don't feel comfortable with a relationship when something like this happens because it shows that it could happen again if he gets moody.
With the whole difference in age, that you want to get married and he hasn't even though of it, that could be a problem because if this is something you really want and you're not sure you want this with him, it can bother you.
You can't make him change. You can't wait around for him to change. You know your feelings are different now and you don't know if you'll get them back.
So all this is just my thoughts on the situation. I really hope everything works out for you.
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In my opinion a break is a temporary and can sometimes be a breakup.
A break is hurtful, It is even more hurtful when we are caught off guard by it.
You took a break, You lost your sense of security in the relationship and it pulled you away from him.
A breakup can either make two people stronger or, Tear them apart.
You mentioned he is a few years younger which leads me to believe he is a bit immature. Perhaps you have learned he is not right for you. Sometimes a break can make one realize their true feelings.
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Women need to feel secure for their love to bloom, just like a seedling needs a certain environment to grow.
So your loss of feelings is normal because you have hurt feelings and possibly even entertaining thoughts of doubt.
It's not just what he said that is the issue. You yourself admitted to wanting to settle down while he's not thinking of that yet.
Just as you would not want to change who you are to please a man, likewise he must not be pressured to go against what he feels is right for himself. If he did change his thought to keep you, it's still 50-50 how that could turn out in the long run. He may decide he's made the right choice. Also people who willingly change themselves or their ideals to please or keep a sweetheart have great risk of developing resentment towards the other, even though it was their choice to do so. These are things to think about. In the end, what you decide to do will be your decision alone. good luck and blessings to you!
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