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Something weird going on?
Well ever since my best friend asked me out and I shot him down things have been extremely awkward between us.And he took another girl to prom and things were even more awkward. Tonight we webcammed for maybe 5 minutes. We went from sending each other over 400 messages a day to maybe 20-50. I don't know what to do! Please help!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You guys were friends during the time he liked you and was interested in dating you. That's why things changed. It's not weird that it's awkward now because he had to move on from you and the friendship you both had before had to do with his feelings towards you, which could be why you both used to talk so much.
So now you guys will have a normal friendship, a new friendship, that will be different.
Eventually, it'll feel normal and it won't be as awkward. This happens to a lot of friendships. Once you turn a guy down, he'll feel embarrassed and it'll be awkward. He's going to be talking to other girls too.
Friendships always change when people have feelings involved.
It won't feel as awkward eventually.
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I agree with Rahzie on this one
This guy wanted more then a friendship with you, You shot him down. He may be feeling a bit embarrassed or hurt from being rejected and possibly trying to figure out how to level with you on being your friend.
He doesn't want a friendship, Like Rahzie said, He had a goal and that was to be more then a friend.
So yes, Naturally you both will run into potholes until you can learn to put it behind you and move on.
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There are three good ways to mess up a good friendship.
1. Is to enter into a relationship with them.
2. Is to have sex with them.
3. is to loan them money.
You two have been good friends, for whatever reasons he had or has he wanted to take your friendship to the next level by asking you out on a date. Your refusal sent him a message that you do not see him as anything more then a friend. This may have been received by him as a very clear message.
The real problem her is that while you two may be texting and talking to each other a great deal in the past; you have not been communicating with each other. Had you been then maybe you would not be where you find yourself at this time.
Communication is the key to any relations ship, be it strictly a friendship type or a deeper more sexual one. We find ourselves from time to time telling one another that we are not mind readers though we often forget this in our own relationships. Somewhere in your friendship he must have felt it was possible to go to the next level with you and to ask you out on a date.
Did he miss read you? Did you inadvertently send him a signal that you were open to this? Was it just wishful thinking on his part? I can't say and you can only find this out by talking with him and communicating you feelings with him that you have for him.
It may be possible to repair your friendship with him but it is going to take a face to face conversation so that you can look at each other and look into each others eyes as you talk. You cannot do this in a text or by phone.
You start the conversation by apologizing to him if you inadvertently signaled to him in some manner that you were wanting or willing to take your friendship to another level. Then you need to explain to him how much you value him as a friend and fear loosing him if a more intimate relationship was not to work out. You may work into your conversation how easy it is for relationships to come and go but true friendships are hard to find. His is a true friendship which you value and do not want to loose.
If he is as bright as I believe you to be he will understand what you have said to him. From this point you have a conversation between you where you discuss what has happened between you and see if you two can get back to where you were.
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Look, he didn't just want to be your friend.
He wanted more. You didn't.
That's okay, but once that was out in the open, once you both acknowledge that you DIDN'T want the same thing from your friendship, your friendship HAD to change.
The friendship you had wasn't working for him.
Even if you thought everything was fine - it wasn't. He had a goal. He wanted to go out with you. When you said no, you and he had to start to build a new friendship together. One where going out was off the table.
Cut him some slack. It IS awkward. It had to be awkward. You both are figuring out what this new friendship looks like. It probably wont be as intense as it was before - and that's a good thing. You are working on having a real friendship now, not just one where he's trying to court you.
If he is still contacting you frequently, talking to you and being friendly, than that's great. Be his friend right back. There isn't a problem here. Things are just changing and changing can be tough. But things have to change now or you'll never really become friends.
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