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twisted love triangle: I am cheating on my fiance, but I can't break up because I live with him. What do I do?
I'm 18/f and have been with my fiance for 3 years now. I'll call him jake well jake has changed a lot he's turned selfish, crude, possesive, and rude. I can't even be out much with friends even if they were girls and he goes around saying he owns me.. I have been faithful untill recent with my friend "mike" and he's much nicer and everyone tells me i should be with him. But the problem is that I live with my fiance and would be homeless if we broke up. My family is in awhole different state. I've searched the internet but no hope and I don't know what to do someone please help
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I believe you realize, his cheating aside, that you are in an abusive relationship. You need to get out of this relationship before he hurts you physically. Your quite young and if it means your safety is best served by moving back to your parents home then I suggest you do so.
I realize doing so means moving to another state and leaving behind all the friends you have made including Mike. Your safety though must come first. Going home for this reason should not be viewed as a failure. You haven't failed. He failed you. You are not the one who showed a false front and turned into a possessive and abusive person.
You are also young enough that by moving back home you can take a different direction in life. Possibly going to college,getting a better education and building from there.
I would suggest that you should view this as an opportunity and not a failure. This is an opportunity to shift gears and direction in life. While I don't know you I have gotten a fair insight into who you are from your writing. I think you have much more to offer this world. This is an opportunity for you to step back and rethink what direction you wish to take with your life.
My advice is you move out and move back home to the safety and security of your family home.
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That is a tough situation.
You know you can't stay with your fiance. It could just get a lot worse.
Do you have any friends around? Anyone else you could turn to?
That's where I think you should start. Ask if you could stay with them till you get your feet on the ground. Or maybe they could help you on finding a place that's cheap.
I really hope your situation gets better. I know it will, but I hope it happens soon.
Good luck!
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I was in a situation where I would end up homeless if I didn't cave in to what a male roommate wanted. I asked everyone I knew if they knew of someone who could give me a place to live for cheap.
I certainly hope you have decided not to marry the fiancee, just can't tell him yet, i understand. I had an ex like that. Married at 20 when he was still nice. Once married after a little time when by the fake personality disappeared and the real him came out. People can put up a fake front only for so long because it takes lots of energy, so eventually the fake persona goes away and you see the real Jake. He did not change. He was like that all the time, just hidden under.
What's Mikes situation? Is he only a male friend with benefits or more...you said love triangle. So if you haven't told Mike you dont intend to marry Jake but need a place to live to be able to leave him, maybe he can help.
What about the friends who are telling you, you should be with Mike. Ask if you can stay with any of them. Set any pride aside and ask for help. No matter where you go or who you date, a possessive person like Jake could end up stalking you and you may need to get a restraining order from the police to keep him away. Hopefully that won;t happen but the person you described a Jake is typical for a stalker and wife beater. 1 in 4 women in a relationship, even dating, are physically abused by their boy friend. Friend doesnt fit the description, so I will say
Boyfiend (fiend means devil or demon)
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